I know everyone's still bemoaning the miserable Broadway season of 2003-2004, but I just refuse to join in their reindeer games. "But are you actually excited about anything?" they ask sarcastically when I share my cheery outlook. Yes, people--I'm actually looking forward to a lot of things! In fact, the only pre-Tonys show that I'm a little leery of is the revival of Tom Stoppard's Jumpers and that's just because: a) I can't find anyone to explain to me what the hell it's about and b) Stoppard is intimidating! But yes, call me (and Anne Heche) crazy, but promises of searing drama (Prymate, Sixteen Wounded), sweaty dancing (Bombay Dreams), high-risk star turns (A Raisin in the Sun) and reexamined Sondheim (Assassins) are exactly the kinds of things that keep me excited about Broadway.

What I find particularly exciting about the upcoming month is the race for the Best Play Tony Award. It's safe to say that of the opened shows, I Am My Own Wife is at the front of the pack, with it's shiny new Pulitzer Prize putting the pedal to the metal. Fall entries like Golda's Balcony, The Retreat from Moscow and Anna in the Tropics could still find themselves in the race, but the spring shows will have more heat. Later today I'm seeing Match, which I'm getting love it or hate it reviews from friends (although everyone raves about star Frank Langella). I'm hearing even better things about Sixteen Wounded, which has apparently undergone some serious rewrites since its Long Wharf debut last year. Prymate, the surprise entry of the season that dares to cast Andre De Shields as a gorilla, remains a bit of a question mark. Playwright Mark Medoff and star Phyllis Frelich set off theatrical fireworks together with Children of a Lesser God 24 years ago. Could it happen again?

Of course, Broadway's holding its breath waiting for official word on a last-minute transfer of Frozen, which finishes its run at MCC Theater this weekend and is hoping to start up again at the Circle in the Square the last week of April. After receiving rave reviews (and six Lortel Award nominations), the show could stand to shake up the Best Play race even more (not to mention Best Actress in a Play, where I hear Swoosie Kurtz could give Golda's Balcony's Tovah Feldshuh reason to sweat). If Frozen makes the move in time, it will become the 13th new play of the 2003-2004 season, beating last season's tally by six. Now what were we complaining about again?

SAIL AWAY WITH KELLI & RO
I had a nice phone chat on Friday with Kelli O'Donnell, new bride of Rosie O'Donnell. Of course, we haven't seen the twosome around these parts since Rosie's heavily-underrated Taboo closed back in February, but Kelli was happy to report that the newly-married couple is rested and ready for their latest project: the inaugural trip of R Family Vacations--a gay-friendly seven-day cruise setting sail from Manhattan to Port Canaveral and Key West, Florida as well as the Bahamas.

Although the aim of R Family Vacations is to create safe, fun travel experiences for gay families (the O'Donnells have four kids themselves), Kelli told me that the July 11-18 cruise will actually have a wide array of passengers. "There will be gay families," she said, "But people are also bringing parents, siblings… This is the kind of cruise where you could bring your partner and your parents and you'd all feel very comfortable together. We also have gay couples bringing their straight couple friends." She added that about 10 percent of the passengers will be straight, a cute twist on the famous Kinsey statistic. "Now they get to be it, right?" Kelli laughed.

Broadway star Christine Ebersole called Kelli and Rosie to inquire about the cruise after reading about it in The New York Times: "She called and said, 'If I bring my whole family, can I sing?' We said, 'Sure!'" Joining Ebersole on the entertainment roster are comedians Joy Behar (The View), Judy Gold, Bob Smith and Rosie herself, hosting the opening night ceremonies. An at-sea production of Schoolhouse Rock is also being put together for the 1,100 seat "Broadway-style" Stardust Theater, hopefully with a cast of Broadway names who can entertain the troops with some cabaret crooning at night. No, sorry--I asked. Taboo will not be playing at the Stardust, although Kelli said they're hoping to lure a few of the stars onboard.

Does a relaxing week at sea sound like just what the doctor ordered? If so, the O'Donnells have an amazing offer for the Broadway community. They're slashing the price of a limited number of inside cabins in half for any card-holding Broadway union member! Basically, we're talking about a seven-day vacation for $500/person, double occupancy, plus taxes. Best of all, you don't have to fly to Florida to get to the gangplank. The boat will be docked just a few minutes from Broadway!

"We'd love to have a lot of friends from the community onboard," Kelli said. "This is a community that Ro embraces and has a lot of emotion about. We'd give away the rooms if we could!"

For more information about the cruise, visit the R Family Vacations website. To find out more about the special offer, call Kelli or business partner Gregg Kaminsky at (866) 732-6822.

DEAR DIARY…
Twenty years from now, I'm sure I'll only remember the current revival of Sly Fox as the show that brought Nomi Malone to Broadway legitimacy. So how was Miss Elizabeth Berkley, who shot to infamy with her softcore work in the cult classic Showgirls? I was reminded of that scene in the 1995 film when a reporter asked Nomi how she felt about her opening night as a showgirl star at the Stardust Casino's Goddess and she responded, "I just hope that I can be as good as the show." In this case, Berkley is actually slightly better than the show, which unfortunately only comes to life in fits and starts under the lackluster direction of Arthur Penn.

I talked up the friendly Berkley (who countered her puritanical onstage character by glamming up in a low-cut red number designed by father-in-law Ralph Lauren) at Tavern on the Green, where the cast celebrated the opening night of the show last Thursday. An Equity actress since the age of nine, Berkley reminisced about her childhood work in roles like Gypsy's Baby June and Echo in Lee Blessing's Eleemosynary as well as her later teen work with the New York City Ballet. "I did as much theater as possible growing up in Michigan," she said. So, now that she's a Broadway star, does Berkley hope to sing and dance on the Great White Way? "Yes!" she exclaimed. "Definitely. I've definitely thought about it. I would love love love to do a musical!"

I approached the subject of Showgirls fearfully, even though Berkley has always been a good sport about the PR fiasco. "Can I ask you about Nomi Malone?" I broached. "Well, that depends on what you want to ask about her!" she responded. "What's amazing is that it has its own little life. A lot of movies come out and die on a video shelf. I think it's taken in a different way now than when it first came out with all the controversy. It was just supposed to be silly fun!" I just had to ask when the last time Berkley popped this bit of silly fun into her DVD player. "I don't remember," she stammered. "Hmm... I don't remember... I haven't... I really can't remember!"

Without out a doubt the singular sensation of Sly Fox for this theater fan was sitcom favorite Peter Scolari (Bosom Buddies, Newhart), who earns the biggest laughs of the night for his work as the horndog Chief of Police, who hilariously rips open his uniform during the Act Two courtroom scene in lust for Berkley in the show (People do strange things around Berkley--you should see Kyle MacLachlan in Showgirls!). Scolari had his own unique take on the character, which he shared with Penn and playwright Larry Gelbart during the show's out-of-town run at the Colonial Theatre in Boston: "I told them, 'You know, the Chief of Police is the Frisco Flasher, the person he's out chasing.' They looked at me like I was crazy and I said, 'You're not gonna stop me! That's how I'm playing it!'" After Gelbart and Penn realized Scolari's comic instinct was right, they relented, and Gelbart even rewrote some lines for Scolari.

"My husband has discovered that he enjoys showing his nipples," Scolari's somewhat-younger wife of seven years Cathy Trien quipped. "We both bare our breasts on Broadway every night. You didn't know that, did you?!" Actually, I did, Cathy, because I saw your nudie cameo as a stripper in Gypsy and I even saw you go on as Electra! (She covers all three "Gimmick" strippers and Mama Rose.) Scolari and Trien hooked up on the national tour of Grease!, where she was playing Marty and he was a guest-star Vince Fontaine. Since Marty and Vince Fontaine memorably hook up in the show, Trien took the direct approach when meeting her new co-star: "I was in the elevator with him on the first day and I turned to him and said, 'Hi. I'll be your whore.'" They're now the proud parents of two children: Cali (who turns three in May) and Keaton (four). "Keaton's named for Buster Keaton," she explained. "He's Peter's favorite. We went with Keaton 'cause I wasn't naming my kid Buster Scolari!"

Trien also met her best friend (and godmother to her kids) on the Grease! tour: Hairspray Tony winner Marissa Jaret Winokur, who was playing overeater Jan. She remembered finding an old diary from her Grease! days recently in which she had scribbled: "I cannot stand Marissa Jaret Winokur on a daily basis!" What led her to make that profound statement?! "What do you mean?" Trien asked. "I wrote it cause I couldn't stand her on a daily basis! She was driving me f-ing crazy. And now she's my best friend!" Lucky for them, they don't have to see each other daily, as the two friends have swapped coasts, Trien and Scolari settling down in NYC and Winokur testing the waters in L.A. "She loves it there, I hate it there," Trien concurred. "And I love it here, she hates it here."

Winokur's gotta be really loving the West Coast these days. Just last week, I reported on the complete cast of her Furst Family sitcom and now New Line Cinema has announced plans to make Always a Bridesmaid, a romantic comedy that Winokur will star in and produce. "I'm so excited," Winokur bubbled when I caught her on her cell phone in the Beverly Center in L.A. "I get to play this tough East Village girl who's been a bridesmaid 10 times. She doesn't settle for anything...she's not easily romanced. And she goes to be a bridesmaid at her cousin's wedding in Connecticut and meets this good-looking rich guy, but she's not wooed at all cause she's got her own thing going on. She's a cool, laid-back chick, but of course, because I'm playing her, she's gonna be a little upbeat and quirky, too!"

Jeez. Broadway, a TV show, a movie... What's next, Marissa? A pop album?!

HELP! DOUG WRIGHT'S REPUTATION IS AT STAKE!
I got to talk to I Am My Own Wife scribe Doug Wright about an hour after learning he'd won the most prestigious playwriting award around, the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Wright was at New York Theatre Workshop directing a reading of Austrian playwright Werner Schwab's Holy Mothers when he got the news of the latest feather in his cap. "I never dreamed dear granny trannie would make it to Broadway let alone this far," Brooklyn boy Wright exclaimed. "It's so daunting. People will now actually have expectations of me! I can't surprise anyone anymore." Although he's now a Pulitzer boy, Wright says he may stick with his downtown roots after all: "I feel obligated now to get back to my down and dirty below 14th Street roots and write something absolutely appalling and insensitive just to reclaim my reputation and to diffuse any potential expectations."

While he works on that "premeditatedly monstrous" new opus, Wright can take comfort in some of the high-paying Hollywood jobs coming his way. Among the half-dozen film projects he's attached to: an adaptation of the just-released novel The Book of Joe for Hollywood producing couple Bradiffer (Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston), a redo of the Swedish film Sleepwalker which may star Chicago cohorts Richard Gere and Catherine Zeta-Jones, an Indian casino heist flick based on a New Yorker article, a remake of the noir classic Leave Her to Heaven and an Otto Preminger remake whose identity Wright refused to reveal. At this rate, the next prize Wright will pick up (after that possible Tony--see above) could just be named Oscar.

STAGE NOTES RECOMMENDS...
1) Connie and Carla (In movie theaters April 16)
For sheer volume of show tunes alone, theater fans should get themselves to their local cineplex next Friday and support Connie and Carla, the latest film written by and starring Nia Vardalos of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. In the course of the movie, you'll get to hear impeccable performances of songs from (are you sitting down?): A Chorus Line, Cabaret, Cats, Evita, Funny Girl, Grease, Gypsy, Hair, Jesus Christ Superstar, Oklahoma!, South Pacific, The Rocky Horror Show and even Yentl! Most of the songs are performed amazingly by Vardalos (who knew?) and co-star Toni Collette, who play women disguised as men dressed as women (in other words, they wear a lot of eye make-up). Wait until you hear these girls belt together! Not since Alice and Emily! Anyway, if you're taking the time to read this column every week, Connie and Carla should be right up your alley. Yeah, it might be a little preachy and earnest for some of you, but I say leave the attitude at home and appreciate it for what it is. Oh, did I mention that David Duchovny is more likable than ever as the brother of a drag queen friend of the girls (the terrific Stephen Spinella, channeling a bit of Prior Walter) who eventually falls for Connie. As a straight guy completely thrown for his feelings for a "man," the former X-Files star hilariously goes down the same road that James Garner did when King Marchand fell for Victoria Grant. Yes, Vardalos definitely picked up the DVD of Victor/Victoria with the millions she reportedly pocketed from Greek Wedding. But hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, no? Oh, before I forget, a personal message--get your butt back to Broadway, Miss Collette!

2) Baby (Paper Mill Playhouse, now through May 9)
I cried like a baby at the final moments of community in Paper Mill's revival of the Richard Maltby, Jr./David Shire '80s tuner, which heavily evoked another tearjerker, William Finn's Falsettos. Of course, the fact that two stars from the Broadway production of that very show--Michael Rupert and Carolee Carmello--were onstage no doubt helped me well up. In fact, on its own, Baby doesn't really add up to a satisfying conclusion--the connections between the different couples are really only on the surface and although the score is filled with some great Maltby and Shire standards, there are far too many ballads in Act Two, no matter how beautiful they may be on their own. But go to Baby anyway for the first-rate leads--six musical theater talents that Broadway would be lucky to get all in one show together. They all make beautiful music together: Rupert and Carmello find stirring moments in the story of a long-married couple who learn to fall back in love, Norm Lewis and LaChanze have chemistry to spare as a couple dealing with infertility and, as the young couple, Chad Kimball and Moeisha McGill play their largest New York area roles to date and prove to be worthy of their recent buzz. Musically, the cast is pretty flawless from start to finish. In fact, getting to see the ladies team up for the OB/GYN office trio "I Want it All" (arguably the best song of the night), is worth the train ride out to Millburn alone. Go!

3) Michele Pawk, Acting Teacher (May 15-16 at Ripley Grier Studios)
If you're looking for an acting/auditioning class with a musical theater focus, I can't imagine there's a more talented teacher than 2003 Tony winner Michele Pawk, who's proven to be versatile, consistent and downright irresistible in her 14 years as a Broadway star. But don't take her class at Ripley-Grier studios on May 15 and 16 (taught with musical supervisor & conductor Kristen Blodgette) because she's a great lady who's a lot of fun to be around. Hell, don't even take it because she's clearly a master of musical theater, in roles both light (Crazy for You, Triumph of Love, Seussical) and dark (her Tony-nominated work in Cabaret). Nope, you must e-mail Pawk and tell her that you're joining up her class for one reason and one reason alone--because she was brilliant in off-Broadway's maligned Reefer Madness! Tell her I sent you!

IN BOX
Dear Paul:
Although I was glad that I Am My Own Wife won the Pulitzer this year, I was surprised that so few journalists discussed the possibility of Avenue Q as the winner. Am I forgetting things or did this little charmer get some of the best reviews of the season, especially from Pulitzer committee members like Ben Brantley and Linda Winer? Here's hoping the Tony Award voters make up for this glaring omission!
----Carrie Cryder
----Ruidoso, New Mexico

Dear Carrie:
Out of the 74 awards the Pulitzer Prize folks have awarded for Drama since 1918, only seven have gone to musicals. The winning shows: Of Thee I Sing (1932), South Pacific (1950), Fiorello! (1960), How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1962), A Chorus Line (1976), Sunday in the Park With George (1985) and Rent (1996). Although I would have loved to see the inclusion in this list of Avenue Q, as insightful a look at American urban life today as I can imagine, it would have probably been too controversial a choice to actually be considered unfortunately. You're right about the notices--both Brantley and Winer wrote positive reviews of Avenue Q, although Winer did complain about the show's length. But time is on the side of musicals to win a Pulitzer soon--since they seem to honor about one every decade, maybe one of next year's shows will take the honor. All Shook Up? Brooklyn? Spamalot?!?

Dear Paul:
I was wondering if you knew how to go about nominating someone for the Kennedy Center Honors. I think Barbara Cook certainly deserves to get one.
----Richard Ryan
----San Francisco, California

Dear Richard:
Sure, why not? The Kennedy Center Honors are supposed to recognize artists for their "lifetime contributions to American culture through the performing arts" and Cook more than fits the bill. According to Kennedy Center materials, last year's recipients (which included Broadway faves like Carol Burnett and Mike Nichols) were chosen by members of the Kennedy Center's national artists committee and by past honorees. Specifically mentioned as having been a part of the choosing are Broadway babies Nathan Lane, Audra McDonald and Jerry Zaks. Maybe you should appeal to them!

Dear Paul:
As a fan of Idina Menzel and Wicked, I really love your term "Greenies". Now, is the singular "Greeny" or "Greenie"? I need to know what to refer to myself as.
----Shira Greenberg
----New York, New York

Dear Shira:
I'd go with "Greenie." It just looks better, don't you think?

Dear Paul:
You talked a few weeks back about the Broadway.com office pool for American Idol. I was especially excited to hear you single out Jennifer Hudson, who is always so dangerously close to being kicked off! Anyway, I was just wondering how you were doing now. Things are pretty unpredictable on that show!
----Chase Simon
----Stamford, Connecticut

Dear Chase:
It's been a roller coaster. I jumped up to second place and then bet it all on the red-haired crooner who can't really croon, dropping back down to 11th last week. When last week's bottom three contestants were all girls who could really sing (leaving those two pathetic boys in the safe zone), I lost all faith in the voting public. Shouldn't we be voting for who we want kicked off? Call me negative, but it seems like a fairer way to do it! Anyway, thanks for your interest in my $20 stake!

That's it for now. Talk to you next week. Please e-mail me any of your questions, comments or critiques!

Paul Wontorek
Editor-in-Chief

For an archive of old Stage Note columns, click here.