Most of the New Directions members took a backseat on Glee's December 6 episode "Swan Song," which focused on Rachel finding a confident new voice at NYADA and Finn struggling to cope with the group's devastating loss at Sectionals. As the Glee members moved on to other endeavors, Finn clashed with Sue over rehearsal space and desperately tried to keep the club alive. Meanwhile, Brittany and Sam's romance blossomed, and Kurt was given a second (or was it a third?) chance at his dream of getting into drama school. So how did we grade this week's show choir shenanigans? Take a look below!
Brad the Piano Player (Brad Ellis): In what may be the most memorable outburst of the season, Brad, the always present but always quiet piano player, took the opportunity of the New Directions’ disbanding to finally vent about his dislike of its members: “I can’t tell you how much I hate those kids! Do you know how demeaning it is when they just turn to you and yell ‘Hit it!’ and you're just supposed to know what song they’re going to sing?”
Best Number: “Don’t Dream It’s Over.” Though our initial vote was for Cassandra and Rachel’s crackling Fosse face-off in “All That Jazz,” it’s hard to deny first place to the rousing, snuggly group number that finally brought the feuding New Directions back together under the winter snow. It was like a Gap ad meets a Hallmark holiday card, and it was damn near wonderful.
Best Line: “Oh, The Walking Dead isn’t based on a true story, I already asked.” — Sam, when Brittany said she has a question before asking him out.
Best Use of Cheerios (Food): Sam’s clever courting of Brittany a la a trail of cereal that led her to a group of musicians, where the blonde hottie was ready to serenade the former lesbian cheerleader. “I know how you forget to eat breakfast on Tuesday because the first few days of the week tend to confuse you,” Sam explained. Awww.
Best Use of Cheerios (People): Sue’s systematic clean-up of the choir room via involuntary cheerleader servitude was like watching the Oompa Loompas set fire to Wonka’s factory. Bonus points for the Cheerio in the neck brace.
Best Diva Call-Out: Maybe Kitty will stop trying to scheme against poor Marley now that queen of mean Santana put the little pussycat in her place.
Scene with the Most Heart: Rachel’s pep talks were a recurring theme this episode, but none was more touching than her “just ‘cause” phone call to Finn, who teared up when he heard that Rachel won her NYADA competition. There’s hope for Finnchel after all!
Relationship of the Week: It’s a no-brainer this week (literally!) — Sam and Brittany have been flirting all season long, but the romance finally came to a head with a tender hallway kiss that demonstrated the core of this duo’s relationship: they make each other laugh!
Best Time Management: “Emperor Sylvester” decided to cut the auditorium reservations into hilarious tenths, meaning Finn could only schedule short, six-minute rehearsals at a time. Hey Finn, we’re free on Friday at 9:54 PM if you are!
Star of the Episode: Is it cliché to say Rachel? This episode was all about the budding soprano's newfound buoyancy, which resulted in some truly explosive vocal fireworks that reminded us why Lea Michele is doggone perfect in this role.
Sue: “I have looked forward to this very moment for a long time. And now that it’s finally here, I’m left with a strange, empty feeling.”
Becky: “That’s how I felt when I saw Prometheus.”
FUTURE PLANNING 101
The brief glimpse into the Sue's hypothetical musings on the post-Glee lives of the New Directions’ crew was all but perfect: Tina’s a drug mule in the Lima crack district, Artie sold his legs to science, Blaine performs on the bathhouse circuit, and Brittany is a finance major at Brandeis (“It turns out Glee Club was really holding me back").
In the episode’s biggest WTF, Kurt earned the bizarre opportunity to audition in front of the NYADA faculty in a showcase exclusively reserved for ten students. (Why? Beats us!) But Kurt nailed it with “Being Alive” and got cast in the role he so coveted: NYADA student.
It looks like in addition to inheriting the Glee Club, Finn also managed to inherit Mr. Schuester’s atrocious taste in vests.
A FOR EFFORT
Whoopi Goldberg’s NYADA poohbah Carmen Tibideaux sure knows how to raise an approving eyebrow, but viewers also got a taste of her spirit when the educator informed a devastated Kurt that he was all surface, no soul. Ouch!
Watch Rachel and Cassandra's showmanship showdown in "All That Jazz" below!