Matthew Morrison Won't Put Down the Ukelele, Maggie Smith Can't Catch a Break & More Lessons of the Week

You’re never too old to learn something new, and that’s most definitely the case this week, as we discovered a ton of surprising life lessons in past seven days. We learned, for example, that Stephanie J. Block and Sebastian Arcelus are sneaky, Spider-Man is off to play the slot machines, Keala has some explaining to do to Cameron Mackintosh and more! Read on to see what we’ve gleaned from your favorite Broadway stars and shows.

Matthew Morrison Is the Perfect Luau Xmas Party Date
We knew Glee star Matthew Morrison was a pro at the ukelele, but we had no idea the Tony and Emmy nominee began his career singing backup for Hawaii's wordwide Ambassador of Aloha, Don Ho! Morrison, who just released the six-track EP Classic Christmas, told us he couldn't resist doing a mash-up of "Mele Kalikimaka" and "I’ll Be Home for Christmas." Hmm...isn't one song about palm trees swaying and the other about snow and mistletoe? It's a good thing Will Schuester doesn't teach geography.

Stephanie J. Block Knows How to Keep a Secret
As harried mother Sheryl Hoover in Second Stage Theatre's Little Miss Sunshine, Stephanie J. Block is giving her admirers another quirky performance to remember. The Tony nominee attracted all those Blockheads with her amazing range, acting chops and...ability to keep huge secrets? Block revealed that "no one knew" when she and Sebastian Arcelus tied the knot. "We went to the courthouse one afternoon and that night, we were singing 'As Long As You're Mine' as husband and wife." Are there little Block-Arceluses running around you haven't told us about?!

Keala Settle Lives Under a Miserable Rock
One of our favorite performances of last season was Keala Settle as the devout Norma Valverde in Hands on a Hardbody. (We still sing "Joy of the Lord" as an afternoon pick-me-up.) So, we're thrilled that the Tony nominee will be playing the wretched Mme. Thenardier in Les Miserables. As a musical theater nerd, she's probably seen and listened to Les Miz a million times, right? "I have never seen a production of the show," Settle told us. Taisez-vous! Girl, you better pray to the musical gods and/or Cameron Mackintosh for forgiveness real quick.

Spider-Man Is Gonna Be a Ramblin' Gamblin' Man
As the saying goes: You gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. On January 4, 2014, Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark will turn out its lights for good on Broadway. Yet, our friendly neighborhood superhero will soon be shooting his web all over Sin City. A reconfigured version of the spectacle-heavy show is expected to re-open at an unnamed Las Vegas venue in 2015. We think Spidey will fit right in with Celine Dion and Donny Osmond in the Entertainment Capital of the World—a.k.a. The City of Lost Wages. Ouch. Too soon?

Lesli Margherita Has Beastly Bathroom Etiquette
Lesli Margherita is worshipped for her willingness to take fans into special places with her must-see video blog Looks Not Books. We've followed the Matilda star into her flashy dressing room, cozy boudoir and more, but this week she took us on a tour of the ladies' restroom. Apparently, this magical lavatory holds the entrance to the Shubert Theatre's Chamber of Secrets, and Margherita was in for a frightening new surprise every time she pushed open a stall door. Looks like Queen Lesli is just a tad too eager to claim a throne all her own.

Bryce Pinkham Could Actually Get Away with Murder
Broadway's new musical A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder is seducing audiences with its madcap tale of a long-lost member of a noble family who kills all of the relatives who precede him in line for a lordship. Bryce Pinkham is having fun as the murderous Monty Navarro, but what do his co-stars think of the ease with which he slipped into the role of a serial killer? "So charming!" —Lisa O'Hare! "Gorgeous and generous!" —Eddie Korbich! "An underdog!" —Jefferson Mays! If you need somebody snuffed out but you want them to die happy—call Pinkham!

Laura Bell Bundy Is the New Axl Rose
Laura Bell Bundy has taught us so much: how to hang your competitor from a catwalk with a jump rope in Ruthless!, how to steal the spotlight of The Corny Collins Show in Hairspray and how to "Bend and Snap" in Legally Blonde. However, the Tony nominee is upping her game and teaching us how to get "Kentucky Dirty" in her new music video. So, how do you make it in the Bluegrass State? According to her Guns N' Roses-inspired tune, all it takes is throwin' on your heels, gettin' in the mud and drinkin' bourbon. In the eternal words of Elle Woods: Ew.

Monty Python Promises the Holy Grail of Reunions
And now for something completely different! Monty Python, the outrageous and off-the-wall comedy troupe that launched a thousand quips, announced they're reuniting next summer for a new live show in London. While no expects the Spanish Inquisition, the reunion has been anticipated for so many years, ever since Eric Idle created the musical Spamalot, "lovingly ripped off from" their film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The new show will feature new and old material and maybe some...twerking? Heck, we'll take John Cleese over Miley Cyrus any day.

Maggie Smith Is Having to Beg for Theater Work
Well, the world's gone to hell. Why, you ask? Because, according to Maggie Smith herself, the powers that be have stopped offering her stage roles. While accepting an honor at London's Evening Standard Awards, the Tony, Oscar and Emmy winner said, "I would love to do more theater work, but I don't get any offers. If you could help me put the word out, maybe that would help." Are. You. Kidding. Me?! The Dame Maggie is threatened! Man the boundaries. Protect her. Do what you have to do. (This is a Harry Potter reference and if you don't get it it, you're dead to me.)

Zachary Levi Did Disneyland All Wrong
Disneyland is a place of joy, amazement, splendor and wonder, but Zachary Levi told us he managed to have a disastrous first date at the amusement park. According to the First Date star, he and his date broke up on the "It's a Small World" attraction. They were in line for a while, but they still boarded the boat, and Levi said that neither of them spoke for the entire 15-minute ride. You would think that after listening to "It's a Small World" for 900 seconds, the song would be permanently planted in Levi's brain. Nope. He still doesn't know the lyrics. Crap, now it's in my head. Damn you, Zach!