Jonathan Groff Has Swimsuit Stress, Idina Menzel Can't Sing in Heels & More Lessons of the Week

It’s Friday, and you know what that means—it’s time to get wasted! Oh, not until 5:00? Then it’s time for the Lessons of the Week! A lot of crazy stuff has happened in the last seven days, so for your reading convenience, we compiled a list of the most important things we’ve learned this week. Ready? Let’s do this!

Jonathan Groff Had Beach Body Panic
We can’t imagine Jonathan Groff looking anything but perfect in a skimpy swimsuit, but he swears he freaked out and started a juice cleanse when he saw his costume for the upcoming film The Normal Heart. Um, is it May 25 yet? Is it? What about now?

Relax, Audra & Will Are Still Married
Sorry to freak you out, Broadway fans, but do you really only read the first three words of a headline before jumping to conclusions? They’re getting divorced in The First Wives Club. A reading. Look, here’s proof that they’re still together. Calm down.

Ramin Karimloo Has a Secret Identity
The Iranian Jumping Bean—Les Miz star Ramin Karimloo—has another nickname we weren’t aware of: "Tony," the name he gives to Starbucks baristas. Ramin, we get it. When your signature drink is a skinny vanilla latte, you have to order it undercover.

The Bullets Dudes Have Pretty Eyes
Bullets Over Broadway bros Zach Braff and Nick Cordero admit they often get lost in each other’s gorgeous eyes during the show and can’t remember their lines. Glad to know we’re not the only ones. Seriously though, have you seen them? Wait, what were we talking about?

NBC’s Got Trouble (Trouble, Trouble)
Friends, either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of awesomeness indicated by the presence of The Music Man on your television set. Seth MacFarlane, please clear your calendar for the next two years.

News Flash: Idina Menzel Isn’t Beyonce
We know, it’s confusing. They both have great nicknames, they can both dazzle a crowd and they’ve both had an elevator brawl. (Oh wait, not that last one.) But Idina Menzel insists that the main reason she’s different than B is that she can’t wear crazy tall shoes. Oh please, Idina, we’ve seen you rock these. Give yourself some credit.

Jersey Is Just a State of Mind
We knew the Four Seasons could croon some amazing four-part harmonies, but we had no idea they could also defy the space-time continuum. After teleporting on two Jersey Boys movie posters, we discovered they could also travel to Africa, Scandinavia and Madison County. Yeah, we’re weirdos, we know.

The Phantom Love Triangle Got Weird
Speaking of weird, Sierra Boggess thinks her new Phantom co-star Norm Lewis is seriously hot, even though he previously played her father in The Little Mermaid. Meanwhile, Andrew Lloyd Webber admitted he’d propose to Boggess if he were younger. Save the creepy crushes for the show, guys.

Even B'way Stars Have Nutty Neighbors
We love hearing the crazy stories of Milton the computer addict who crashed Mario Cantone’s 40th birthday party, the old lady who threw water on Leslie Uggams, Michael C. Hall's brawling neighbors and the racist hoarder who lived next door to Tracy Letts. Does this sound like a terrific musical waiting to happen or what? Sondheim, ya busy?

Watch Out For the Joshua Henry Effect
Have you noticed a trend on Broadway this season? Namely, gorgeous, muscley dudes ripping their shirts off left and right? Blame it on Violet star Joshua Henry, who claims his “chustle” (that’s a combo between chunk and muscle) is the reason Broadway guys are getting bigger. Josh, you’re a saint.