Lea Michele: circus freak? Maybe! Rumor has it that the Broadway alum and Glee star is in talks to join the fourth season of Ryan Murphy’s other mega-hit: American Horror Story: Freak Show. The Broadway.com Audience Choice Award winner would join Matt Bomer, as well as Great White Way vets Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Patti LaBelle and more. The Gleeful addition appears to be mere speculation from Christian Today, but we of course leapt at the opportunity to cast her as a freak (with love). We warn you now: some of these marvels are not for the faint of heart, and detail the harrowing accounts of how some of these so-called freaks were mistreated and gawked at. But if you saw New Year’s Eve, you're probably used to grotesque atrocities.
Lea Michele, the Half Human/Half Goat
It’d be especially amazing if both halves were named Lea Michele, and she shared the part with our favorite animal on the Groff family farm. And maybe, just maybe, the Lea/Lea hybrid gives birth to twins at some point. Hey, weirder stuff has happened on the show before.
Lea Michele, the Fanny Brice Medium
On the first season of American Horror Story, Sarah Paulson played Billie Dean Howard, a medium who Zachary Quinto’s character deemed the “Lee Press-On Nails Psychic.” A similar character would certainly fit in this season. Perhaps a clairvoyant who channels the late Fanny Brice? It’d be a win-win for both Michele and Murphy.
Lea Michele, the Monkey
With each hour passing by, we’re that much closer to Bollywood Superstar Monkey, the Dreamworks animated musical starring Lea Michele as a monkey named Pinki. The project is slated for a 2017 release, but AHS: Freak Show could be the perfect vehicle for her to prove her primate abilities prior to the feature film. Michele could draw inspiration from the 1964 film The Ape Woman.
Lea Michele, the 161-Year-Old Woman
On Broadway, she’s only played adolescents (Young Cosette in Les Miz, the Little Girl in Ragtime, Shprintze in Fiddler, and of course, Wendla in Spring Awakening). On Glee, she has become a tween icon. It’s about time she went for a mature role. Why not go all the way and play a 161-year-old, a la 19th century act Joice Heth? That’s roughly the age Wendla would be today!
Lea Michele, 586 Lbs of Feminine Charm
In the 1950s, Ella “Mills” Milbauer toured with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, billed as “586 Pounds of Feminine Charm.” If Michele is willing to down a few more lunch trays of fettuccine Alfredo, we’d love to see her pay homage to Ms. Milbauer. And she’d probably have a killer moment in the season finale, because, you know, it’s not over until the fat lady sings “Don’t Rain on My Parade.”