Don’t Order Blazing Saddles: Lessons in Love & Showbiz from Martin Short

Tony winner Martin Short will release a new memoir, I Must Say: My Life As a Humble Comedy Legend on November 4. The stage and screen funnyman has adapted the book for Vanity Fair, and we now know all sorts about relationships and making it in show business. Before leading Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me, before winning a Tony for Little Me and before making his Broadway debut in The Goodbye Girl, Short gave himself one year following graduating from college to pursue life as a performer. And it paid off. Here’s what we learned from Short’s early career!

1. You have to start small
Real small. Like, fit in a purse small. Short booked his first gig as a paid actor playing a talking credit card. “A woman opened her purse,” Short recalls, “and there I was, miniaturized, sitting on top of an oversize compact mirror.” How many Emmy nominations does your MasterCard have?!

2. Never sing a song from the show...
…unless you’re Victor Garber. The two met at auditions for the Toronto production of Godspell. Amidst a slew of 20-somethings, Short went retro and sang a Frank Sinatra rendition of “My Funny Valentine” for composer Stephen Schwartz. Garber was the only one of the bunch who had the guts to sing a song from the show: “Save the People.” Both were cast, alongside Andrea Martin, college buddy Eugene Levy, and Short’s first showmance, the late Saturday Night Live star Gilda Radner.

3. Political cabarets are a major turn-on
While in Godspell, a new actress joined the company as an understudy. It was the late Nancy Dolman, who Short would go on to marry a few years later. Nothing happened during the show, but almost a year after it closed, and following his breakup with Radner, he went out with Dolman. Well, he invited her to his performance of What’s a Nice Country Like You Doing in a State Like This?. “I can tell you that there’s no aphrodisiac more potent than Watergate-themed cabaret music,” Short says. “By night’s end, Nancy and I were making out while pressed against my Volkswagen convertible in the theater’s parking lot. Boy, were we both easy.”

4. Listen to Andrea Martin
This is generally sage advice for pretty much anyone. The night after their first date, Short invited Dolman to a cast party. Andrea Martin was there and cornered Short, asking, “When did you start having sex with Nancy Dolman?” Short remembers her adamantly convincing him, “You two have the intimacy of a couple. I can see it! You’re having sex!”

5. Don't order Blazing Saddles
If Andrea Martin tells you to have sex, just go ahead and…do it. Upon leaving the party, Short and Dolman headed to a hotel to, presumably, do just that. As she was in the bathroom powdering her nose, Short did what any sane person would do at that time: ordered Blazing Saddles on the TV. “Nancy emerged from the bathroom, astonishingly beauteously naked,” Short remembers. “’This is a joke, right?’ she said. ‘Are you serious?’” To which he artfully replied, “I can’t tell you how quickly I’m gonna turn this off!”