No, Bernadette Peters Will Not Hold for You, Sutton Foster Is the Bravest Individual & More Lessons of the Week

The weekend is upon us, and you know what that means: time to stay in bed and cry as you try to rank your favorite Roses in Gypsy! Well, that, and the Lessons of the Week. The Great White Way has kept us particularly busy these past seven days as we juggled everything from a rumble (that we may have instigated) between two Broadway hunks to a certain redhead who “can’t even” when it comes to hold music. Catch up on all the Broadway happenings below!


Billy Was the Zach to Renée's Cassie 
In Leslie Odom Jr.’s premiere Hamilton vlog episode, the Tony nominee hung out with Anthony Rapp, Billy Porter and Renée Elise Goldsberry. Renée revealed that Billy, as an upperclassmen, taught her the dance combination when she auditioned for Carnegie Mellon. It was part of his work (werk) study program. We bet this was the fiercest version of “step, kick, kick, leap, kick touch” to ever occur.


Levi Wants to Rain on Hough's Parade
When She Loves Me Tony nominee Zachary Levi cited Singin’ in the Rain as his dream show, we had some news to break to him: the musical is on its way to Broadway, but he’s going to have to “have some words” with Derek Hough if he wants that role. Ultimately, we think the two would hit it off, but this has the promise of the most captivating rivalry since Hamilton and Burr.


Tuck Everlasting Is the New Matrix
There's some family drama and antics involving evil bananas on stage in Tuck Everlasting, but backstage, there's an entire action flick. In Andrew Keenan-Bolger's vlog, he showed ensemble members Neil Haskell and Brandon Espinoza's hijinks, involving explosions, sweaty palms, a dummy and several flights of stairs. We have an action movie idea to pitch! It involves two guys fighting to star in Singin' in the Rain...


Steve Martin Will Serve Some Competition
Steve Martin’s bringing easygoing numbers to Broadway with Bright Star, but don’t let those smooth bluegrass tones fool you. Martin told us he’s not particularly competitive when it comes to being up for Best Score and Best Book, though according to writing partner Edie Brickell, that changes when he’s on the volleyball court. We’re not sure what that means, but you’re both invited to our Broadway.com beach party.


Ruby Lewis Is a One-Woman Pong
Despite the high-flying flips and twists in Paramour, the real acrobatics are right in front of leading lady Ruby Lewis' nose. The fresh face showed off a Side Show-worthy special skill as she played ping pong with her eyes. We've yet to figure out where this would be useful, but we'll let you know. We're thinking at the Broadway.com beach party table tennis tournament, which is just after the volleyball match.


Cynthia Erivo Wants to Make Whoopie x3
Before Cynthia Erivo was bringing audiences to their feet mid-show in The Color Purple, she was raising voices in Sister Act in London. Now, the Tony nominee wants to complete the Whoopi Goldberg hat trick and headline a Corrina, Corrina musical. As it so happens, one is already in the works. Hop on that quick, Erivo! You don’t want Derek Hough to come in and have us make up some feud.


Don't Put Bernadette Peters on Hold
In Fully Committed, Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s characters put a plethora of patrons on hold, but if a certain fellow ginger stage favorite calls, Jesse, you best avoid putting her on hold at all costs. At the play’s opening, two-time Tony Award winner Bernadette Peters couldn’t even begin to imagine what her hold music would sound like—that’s how much she despises it. Come on, Bernie: we all know it would be this.


Dolly Levi Found a B'way Time Machine
Forget about making American great again; the incoming Hello, Dolly!’s on its way to make Broadway 1913 again. To announce that Tony winner David Hyde Pierce will join Bette Midler, the revival released a mockup of what the front of house would like at the Shubert Theatre…around the time of the theater’s original opening. We can’t wait to rock our boater hats and hobble skirts!


In the Heights Is Actually Just Seinfeld
Following the success of In the Heights, writers Lin-Manuel Miranda and Quiara Alegría Hudes have definitely kept in touch. It’d be hard for them not to, as they live in the same building. While we were visiting the Daphne’s Dive playwright, she referred to the Hamilton mastermind as the Kramer to her Jerry. Now can we give Karen Olivo a place in that building and make this a Three’s Company situation? We’ll be Mr. Furley.


Sutton Foster Has a Sweet New Gig
We love watching/GIFing Sutton Foster on Younger, but we’re still waiting for TV Land to #LetLizaSing. While Foster karaoke-ing on TV with Hilary Duff and Miriam Shor may never happen, at least we’ll get our Sutton belting fix on screen and stage this year. In addition to singing on Gilmore Girls, Foster will headline an off-Broadway revival of Sweet Charity. We’re not saying this had something to do with it, but…