Hold the Salami for Aaron Tveit, Lin-Manuel Miranda's Popularity Reaches Under the Sea & More Lessons of the Week

It’s Friday, and you know what that means: It’s time for the Lessons of the Week! A lot happened on the Great White Way over the past seven days, from a wedding that was far from baaaaaad to a patronus that oinks. And because we’re feeling particularly patriotic this weekend, here’s Broadway lyricist Kathie Lee Gifford optioning up during the national anthem. Trust us: it makes a great soundtrack to Lessons.


Tveit Prefers His Sex Scenes Sans Salami 
When filming a sex scene with Aaron Tveit (as you do), don't offer him cured meats. Our collective Broadway boyfriend recalled filming an intimate scene for BrainDead that involved spitting chewed salami into the hands of prop masters. We're certainly guilty of having Tveit fantasies, but they've never gone that far. They usually just involve salmon shorts.


Jenna Ushkowitz Likes Her Pies Salty
Jenna Ushkowitz is surrounded by temptations of plenty of confections at Waitress, from blueberry bacon pie to marshmallow mermaid pie. But if given the chance to make a pie of her own, the Glee favorite would go for something more savory: a quiche with cheese and sausage. We wouldn't say no to that, Jenna, but we have to admit: "Salt, butter, flour" doesn't quite have the same ring.


Lin-Manuel's Gonna Make Ariel Sing
The man—and Mouse—are nonstop. After Moana and Mary Poppins Returns, Lin-Manuel Miranda has his third Disney project lined up: writing songs for a live-action The Little Mermaid with Alan Menken. How lucky we are to have legs right now. We can only hope Ariel raps about how she'll never be satisfied with flipping her fins (they don't get you far).


Leslie Might Get Away With Train Murder 
After dueling on the Broadway stage, Leslie Odom Jr. is prepared for some murder on the big screen. The Hamilton Tony winner is in talk to appear in Kenneth Branagh's remake of Murder on the Orient Express. Will he be in the train car where it happens? Will Lin also write music for this? We'll just have to wait for it.


Amy Spanger Has a Rocking Shower
Amy Spanger has an extensive musical theater resume, and sometimes, the roles stick with her. The Matilda standout revealed that she still sings the infectious '80s score from Rock of Ages while in the shower. Well, it's probably less dangerous than doing Matilda in the shower. Not as many cooter slams. Still just as loud, though. Have you tried "Thong Song," Amy? We hear that's a good one.


Michael Campayno Went For the Gold
We're all in the Olympic spirit, even if Simone Biles didn't use "Satisfied" for her floor routine (like we dreamed). Wicked fresh face Michael Campayno recalled a recent performance where, upon his entrance on a rope swing, he didn't stick the landing perfectly, resulting in a number of 360s in midair. If only dancing through life were an Olympic event. This is close.


The Sex Is In the YouTube Views
Everybody say "yaaaass," because Broadway alum/YouTube sensation Todrick Hall is Kinky Boots' new Lola! In true Todrick fashion, he made the announcement with an original song and lots of production value. Is it too late to add a Beyoncé flash mob sequence into the show? Cyndi? Harvey? Jerry?


Ana's Patronus Is Cuter Than Yours 
If you've seen Ana Villafañe's iPhone case, you'd know she's a bit of a Potterphile. In this week's episode of her vlog, the On Your Feet! star revealed that her patronus is a micro pig. We love the thought of a micro pig warding off dementors while working out on the treadmill, but we're a little surprised her patrons is not a Jellicle cat. Is it weird if you're your own patronus?


This Broadway Wedding Had Furry Friends
Is there anything more romantic than getting married on a field in England surrounded by a flock of sheep? Broadway faves Andy Mientus and Michael Arden tied the knot in England at Babington House. The gorgeous and palatial estate boasts several amenities, including the aforementioned roaming flock of sheep. Don't tell Matthew Morrison.


Lea Michele, Age 9, Serenaded Stamos
Lea Michele and John Stamos are embracing their inner Hannibal Lecter and McDreamy, respectively, in the new season of Scream Queens. The two met back when a nine-year-old Michele was making her Broadway debut in Les Miz and Stamos was in How to Succeed. Lea sang "Castle on a Cloud" for him. Now if you please excuse us, we have to sit in a Sardi's booth and patiently wait for a certain Teen Choice Award winner to serenade us.