Newsroom Headlines: Quotable Quotes from the Premiere Episode of The Newsroom

The 75-minute premiere episode of HBO’s new drama The Newsroom, which aired on June 24, offered enough smart dialogue to fill three episodes of a typical TV drama. For the next 10 weeks, Broadway.com will spotlight our favorite zingers straight from the mouths of the Broadway stars who play staffers at News Night.

Anchorman Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels), at the end of tirade at a questioning college student: “When you ask me what makes us the greatest country in the world, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about—Yosemite?”

News producer Don Keefer (Thomas Sadoski) on why staffers don’t want to work for Will: “Simply put, you’re a smart, talented guy who isn’t very nice. And the countdown to your retirement from relevance began the minute you called conservatives idiots and liberals losers.”

Will McAvoy, defending his personality: “I’m a perfectly nice guy, and I have the focus group data to prove it.”

News division president Charlie Skinner (Sam Waterston), in response to Don’s anti-Will tirade: “I’m a Marine, Don, I will beat the shit out of you no matter how many protein bars you ate!”

Incoming producer MacKenzie McHale (Emily Mortimer), prodding Will to produce a better newscast: “It’s time for Don Quixote.”
Will: “You think I’m him.”
MacKenzie: “No, I think I’m him and you’re his horse.”
Will: “He rode a donkey.”
Mackenzie: “I can’t help that.”

Producer Jim Harper (John Gallagher Jr.), responding when Don compares MacKenzie to “a sophomore poly-sci major at Sarah Lawrence”: “The only real difference are the two Peabodies and the scar on her stomach from the knife wound she got covering a Shiite protest in Islamabad.”

Will to Don, on why he is willing to let MacKenzie take over the newscast on her first day: “I just offered her the most humiliating contract since Antonio got a loan from Shylock. She took it. I don’t know what that is, but I like it.”

Charlie, returning to Man of La Mancha imagery after Will’s successful newscast: “I’m Don Quixote, you be Sancho, [MacKenzie will] be Dulcinea and everyone out there is the horse.”
Will: “The donkey.”