Jessica Chastain Can't Stand Movie Stars, Al Pacino Is F**king Raking It In and More Lessons of the Week

Before we board up the Broadway.com offices to prepare for the wrath of Hurricane Sandy, it's time to revisit another exciting week on the Great White Way! In the past seven days, we chowed down on Mama Morton's fried chicken, saw some Newsies magic tricks and dropped the F bomb with Al Pacino. What did we learn? Find out below!

Jessica Chastain Is So Over Movie Stars
Jessica Chastain may have earned an Oscar nom before making her Broadway debut in The Heiress, but whatever you do, don't call her a movie star. This week, the Broadway newbie confessed that back in her Juilliard days, she got “sick of movie stars” in plays. Don't worry, Jessica, we know a certain Broadway starlet who can teach you how to go undercover. All you need is a pair of giant sunglasses, an even bigger purse and a Metrocard.

Anne Hathaway Is a Broadway Tease
Speaking of movie stars, Anne Hathaway is driving us absolutely crazy. First, she has the gall to sing a devastatingly beautiful version of “I Dreamed a Dream,” which we’re forced to hear every single time we go see a movie. (That trailer is unbelievable!) Next, she did a perfectly marvelous job playing Sally Bowles in a Cabaret benefit at Joe’s Pub this week, co-starring with Broadway greats Audra McDonald, Raul Esparza, Harvey Fierstein and Linda Lavin. Broadway is beckoning, Anne…we’ve got cute boys in dance belts, shiny awards and lots of cake. What are you waiting for?

It's Scary In Spider-Man's A-Hole
Spider-Man headliner Reeve Carney was kind enough to offer Broadway.com a backstage tour, and he really showed us the bowels of the Foxwoods Theatre. Carney took us all the way up to Arachne’s backstage hideout, lovingly referred to as “the A-Hole.” Yep, you heard us—Arachne's offstage perch has a rather inelegant name. And it looks really dark and creepy up there! Arachne, can we spend Halloween in your A-Hole? Eww, that's wrong on so many levels.

Tom Hanks Is a Poet and We Didn’t Even Know It
We're pretty intense about our love for Full House (who isn't?!), so we were skeptical when Tom Hanks went on Jimmy Fallon to knock our favorite ‘90s sitcom. But Hanks (who is preparing to star on Broadway in Lucky Guy) won us over with an impressive slam poetry piece about Full House characters D.J., Uncle Jesse, Kimmy Gibbler, and of course, little Michelle. Snaps to you, Tom Hanks! Now do a poem about Urkel. Please?

We’re Having Thanksgiving in Carol Woods’ Dressing Room
Chicago star Carol Woods sure was good to Broadway.com this week—we stopped by for a tour and ended up with a surprise soul food buffet! Matron "Mama" Morton served up macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, a mini-tart, and an extra helping of delicious. Seriously guys, if the food looks this good on video, imagine how great it tasted! If you need us, we’ll be at the Ambassador Theatre stage door begging for scraps from Mama's table.

Anna Kendrick Has Shiksappeal
We’ve got a huge soft spot in our hearts for The Last Five Years, so when Pitch Perfect star Anna Kendrick was tapped to play Cathy in the new movie adaptation (there’s going to be a movie?!) we were obviously psyched. Kendrick is definitely Shiksa Goddess material, but who will play her Jamie? Hmmm… We really can’t think of anyone. Oh, well.

The Newsboys Should Join the Circus
The cast of Newsies is mighty fine at singing, dancing and selling papes, but who knew the boys were such renaissance men? On his video blog, newsboy heartthrob Corey Cott revealed some of his castmates’ secret talents, including magic tricks, ukulele playing, ear folding, cartoon voices, eye shaking, high-pitched screaming and closed-mouth talking. If this whole newsboy musical thing doesn’t work out, it’s good to know you’ll all have jobs in the next revival of Side Show.

Broadway.com Fans Have Psychic Powers
Well, Broadway.com fans, you’ve officially scared the crap out of us. When we asked readers which Hitchcock film they’d like to see on stage, we meant, you know, eventually. Rear Window came in second place in the poll, and we were more than a little terrified to see that the very same day, an actual stage adaptation of Rear Window was announced. So guys, we’d like Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth to do a Wicked reunion tomorrow night. Make it so!

Helena Bonham Carter Steals for Her Art
Most actresses spend time researching a new role, but Helena Bonham Carter took her prep work for the Les Miz film to illegal extremes. Apparently, the two-time Oscar nominee has actually learned to pickpocket for her new role as swindling innkeeper Madame Thenardier. Suuure, Helena. That’s what they all say. Admit it, you just want an excuse to stick your hand in Hugh Jackman’s back pocket.

F**k! Al Pacino Gets Paid $325.52 Per F Bomb
Two-time Tony winner Al Pacino is back on Broadway in Glengarry Glen Ross, and although Jessica Chastain probably isn’t too thrilled about it (see above), we couldn’t be happier. According to our calculations, the stage and screen superstar (who reportedly earns a whopping $120,000 a week for his stint in Glengarry), will make approximately $325.52 each time he utters the F word. F**k, Al, that’s the best f**king thing we’ve heard all week!