Kristin Chenoweth Is the Biggest Oscar Winner, Never Email Shia LaBeouf & More Lessons of the Week

As the lights come down on another busy week on Broadway, we’ve learned a ton of crazy new lessons from our favorite stars. From Jeremy Jordan’s onscreen love life to Jimmy Fallon’s mom’s drink of choice, check out all the cool stuff we’ve learned in the last seven days.

Everyone Wants to Marry Jeremy Jordan
Ashley Spencer, Bonnie Parker, Katherine Plumber, Karen Cartwright, and now Cathy Hyatt from The Last Five Years? It’s undeniable that Jeremy Jordan is a hot commodity with the ladies (and certain gents), and the upcoming movie adaptation of L5Y is here to help. Now, we can live vicariously through film star Anna Kendrick as she meets, is pursued by, and then marries Jeremy as Jamie Wellerstein. We'll just plug our ears during all the break-up parts. Hmm-hmm-hmm, we're not listening...

Jimmy Fallon’s Mom Was a Hairspray Party Crasher
This week in WTF news, Smash songwriters Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman revealed that back in the Hairspray days, their apartment was basically Studio 54. During one bash, Liam Neeson, Jimmy Fallon and the late-night host's parents popped by at 5 AM. Fallon’s mom apparently thought she was at a bar and threw down 20 bucks for a white wine spritzer. Whaaa? We wish someone would buy a drink at our house parties—we could make a tidy profit selling $20 glasses of Two Buck Chuck.

Nothing Is Opening on Broadway This Spring
Last week’s postponement of Pump Boys and Dinettes must have created a Broadway domino effect, because spring productions of The Miss Firecracker Contest and The Velocity of Autumn have also been scrapped. If Cherry Jones and the cast of The Glass Menagerie don’t get over here soon, we might actually be forced to spend time outdoors this April. Noooo!

Theatergoers Could Grow Accustomed to Anne Hathaway’s Face
When we asked readers which Oscar nominee should make his or her Broadway debut, surprise, surprise—y’all picked Anne Hathaway. You guys are so predictable. Clive Davis must have voted too, because he’s hoping the Oscar nominee will star in his reboot of My Fair Lady. Anne, it’s cool with us if you want to star on Broadway, but watch your back. Word on the street? Jennifer Lawrence can belt.

Shia LaBeouf Needs to Talk to You About Orphans
In the weirdest news since Jimmy Fallon’s mom’s wine spritzer, Shia LaBeouf went a little Twitter happy after the news broke that he would no longer star in Orphans. LaBeouf tweeted an email with lines borrowed from Esquire, violated Alec Baldwin's privacy by releasing personal messages and posted an hour-long “audition” video of himself. Shia, we never thought we’d say this, but this is too much drama even for Broadway. Note to self: never write to Shia LaBeouf. Ever.

Constantine Maroulis’ Jekyll & Hyde Trick? Crazy Eyes
So if revival headliner Constantine Maroulis isn’t whipping his hair back and forth a la Robert Cuccioli, David Hasselhoff, Sebastian Bach and other former stars of Jekyll & Hyde, how are we supposed to know the difference between studious scientist Dr. Jekyll and unstable murderer Mr. Hyde? Two words: crazy eyes. According to Maroulis, it’s all about “the eye pop.” Oh, Constantine, we so wanted to see you flip around your luscious locks! Guess we'll have to settle for your headbanging archival footage.

Jessie Mueller Will Mix Moonshine in Her Bathtub
This week, Broadway.com learned that Jessie Mueller will be moving into Matthew Broderick’s mansion as tomboy bootlegger Billie Bendix in Nice Work If You Can Get It. Awesome! Now let's move on to the real news, Jessie: You got a shout-out on Smash this week! Forget Gershwin, you're practically a household name. Well, in households that watch Smash. Which, according to the ratings is none, but whatever. What were we saying? Oh right—we love you, Jessie!

Les Miz Is Coming Back…And They’re Singing Live!
Thanks to Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway and the cast of the Les Miz movie, a “newly re-imagined” revival of the Tony-winning mega-musical is hitting Broadway again this fall. It’s got a crazy concept, but bear with us: Just like the film, the performers will actually sing their parts live! We know, it’s groundbreaking. The word is still out on whether or not the cast will actually cry like they do in the movie. And on the Golden Globes.

Daniel Day-Lewis and Norm Lewis Are Related
We always knew Norm Lewis had good genes, but he really surprised us on The Broadway.com Show when he revealed that Oscar nominee Daniel Day-Lewis might be his brother. “He has my namesake, or I have his,” Norm said. Hopefully, the long-lost siblings can catch up at the annual Lewis family reunion. We hear Huey, Jerry Lee, Juliette, Shari and Emmanuel are all going. C.S. is bringing potato salad.

Who Cares If the Oscars Run Long? Kristin Chenoweth Is Singing!
In a seriously awesome Broadway coup, producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have chosen Kristin Chenoweth to close out the Oscar ceremony with a “big, can’t-miss” musical number. Combine that with the Les Miz performance, Chicago and Dreamgirls reunions and the song stylings of the one-and-only Barbra Streisand? From now on, Broadway.com will refer to the Oscars as “the Tonys II.” Remember not to turn off the TV after Argo gets Best Picture—Kristin is the real winner of Broadway's second-biggest night of the year!