Zachary Levi Bribes Girls, Elaine Stritch Needs a Hobby & More Lessons of the Week

We’re finally fully rested after our all-night Tony Awards party last Sunday, and it’s a good thing—because there’s so much awesome news to talk about! From Lilla Crawford’s new tea time talk show to Elaine Stritch’s boring new life in Michigan, here are the top 10 things we learned this week.

They Make Elaine Stritch Pay for Her Own Lunch in Michigan
Elaine Stritch has officially settled in Michigan, but she’s not happy about it. She’s used to being treated like royalty at her old digs in the Carlyle Hotel, but now she's getting no special treatment. “Nothing’s comped in Birmingham,” she ranted, complaining that she’s bored and doesn’t “have a damned thing to do.” Oh come on, we can think of tons of things. Knit a hat (does anyone still wear one?)! Write I'll Drink to That: The Elaine Stritch Story! Jump on the bed and sing "Zip!" You're at liberty, Ms. Stritch. The possibilities are endless.

The Muppets Are Literally Taking Manhattan
The Muppets performed in a super-secret test show for Disney at the New Amsterdam Theatre, and if all goes well, they could be starring in their very own Broadway musical. Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Rowlf, Janice and the whole gang are on board, but they have a few requests: Miss Piggy wants her name above the title. And her own dressing room. And Patti LuPone's dresser. And a bowl of red M&Ms. And Elaine Stritch’s old room at the Carlyle.

Tony Awards Director Glenn Weiss Needs a Vacation
The Tony Awards opening showstopper “Make It Bigger” was so dazzling that we watched it on YouTube approximately five million times after the telecast. THEN we saw the crazy-amazing-behind-the-scenes video of Glenn Weiss directing the complicated musical number, and we were even more impressed! After watching Weiss call shots for nine cameras at once, we think he deserves a looooong trip to Maui, a nap and an Emmy.

A Drum, A Drum! Macbeth Doth Come (Again)
Alan Cumming is finishing his run in Macbeth this July…and in November, Ethan Hawke will take on the title role in another production of Macbeth. “Double, double, toil and trouble” has never been more relevant. We can never get enough murder, blood and witches! And we can't wait for Ethan to get naked, drown that sweater and make love to himself. Wait, what? He's not?! Oh.

Jeremy Shamos Is Using Us for Free Pistachios
When we asked The Assembled Parties star Jeremy Shamos to share his obsessions, we thought he’d jump at the chance to reveal his favorites. Instead, he used it as a platform to fuel his pistachio addiction. “WONDERFUL is the brand name and they seem like a GREAT COMPANY,” Shamos shamelessly said, before giving out the address of the Friedman Theatre. On a completely unrelated note, have we mentioned how great Funyuns are? Mmmm, we love those. (729 Seventh Ave., NYC 10019)

Zachary Levi Woos Ladies with Candy and Troll Dolls
When First Date star Zachary Levi was in seventh grade, he had some smooth moves with the ladies. “I gave her, like, some candy and a troll doll,” he said of his first date, which ended when his crush escaped and sped away in a van. It’s OK, Zach. Everyone gets dumped. But you know what will make it better? Stalk her on Facebook, send her a link to this photo and write “This is what you missed, sucker!” in the subject line. That should take care of it. #yourewelcome

Watch Out, Paul Wontorek, Lilla’s Tea Time Is a Hit
Lilla Crawford’s video blog Simply Red premiered this week, and her new segment “Tea Time with Lilla Crawford” is not only adorable—it’s captivating programming! Barbara Walters—err, Lilla—asks her first guest, Merwin Foard, about his pet, the origin of his name and what it was like to wear the gypsy robe on opening night, complete with witty banter and great follow-up questions. Dang, Lilla! If Paul ever gets the flu, you're totally next in line to host Show People.

Jackie Chan Will Tell His Life Story with Jazz Hands
Jackie Chan has appeared in over 150 action movies, but that doesn’t mean he can't enjoy a good night at the theater. Chan is adapting his memoir, I Am Jackie Chan: My Life in Action, into a stage musical, which could actually be amazing. Chan grew up singing opera, so he could even play himself. But if he's not available, may we suggest Tony winner Patina Miller? We'd love to see her break boards and beat up bad guys with her crazy-ripped arms.

Diane Paulus Won a Tony—Next She’s Waiting Tables
Director Diane Paulus just won a Tony for Pippin, and before her trophy has even collected a speck of dust, she’s already moving on to her next gig: A musical adaptation of Waitress, a random independent movie that stars Felicity as a sad, pregnant woman stuck waiting tables. It doesn’t scream Broadway blockbuster to us, but after witnessing Pippin, we’re now fully convinced Paulus is an enchanted sorceress. Would you like a side of magic with that?

The Cast of Cinderella Has Been Eating Woodland Mushrooms
Santino Fontana has already shown his directing prowess in Laura Osnes’ awesome video blog The Princess Diary, but he really outdid himself in his new Cinderella music video, which can only be described as “trippy.” Animal puppets singing “Heart of Glass”? Harriet Harris channeling Sir Mix-A-Lot? Victoria Clark floating in the clouds? Yep, the cast of Cinderella is definitely on something. And by something, we mean hallucinogenics. We love it.