Kristin Chenoweth's Role of a Lifetime, Alex Brightman Is Broadway's Poet Laureate & More Lessons of the Week

Happy Friday/Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Birthday Eve! We’ve had a wild week on Broadway and beyond, from a J.M. Barrie who can’t stop dancing to a Glinda who could bring Abby Lee Dance Company to the Great White Way. Lost? Confused? Scared? Stay with us, and catch up with Lessons of the Week.

Cheno's New Role Is Once in a Lifetime
Broadway cheerleader Rosie O’Donnell wants more Cheno on the Great White Way—specifically, opposite her in a Dance Moms musical. Yes, we live in a world in which Rosie wants self-proclaimed pocket diva and Mistress of All Evil Kristin Chenoweth to play a modern-day Lifetime channel Mama Rose. Sadly, we don’t see this happening anytime soon, and to that, we say: “I can’t stand it!”

Aaron Tveit Will Not Defy Gravity in a Car
It’s systematic, it’s hydromatic, it’s ultramatic…it’s Aaron Tveit riding around in a golf cart! In an exclusive Grease: Live set tour, he and fellow T-Birds Andrew Call and Jordan Fisher revealed that when they dance all over that hot rod on January 31, no one will descend from the ceiling on a car engine a la John Travolta. Call us hopelessly devoted, but we’ll still tune in for our Broadway boyfriend, no matter how he enters a room. 

Tim Curry Is Lost In Space...and Meaning
Speaking of musicals on Fox, look out for a real Time Warp: former Sweet Transvestite Tim Curry, who created the role of Dr. Frank ‘N’ Furter on stage and screen, will head back to Rocky Horror for the TV remake. This time, he’ll (if he may) take us on a strange journey as The Criminologist a.k.a the narrator. You are welcome to yell about necks, giraffes and chickens in the comfort of your own home.

NBC Can't Stop the Beat
When Corny Collins says he’s live, he really means it! NBC will bring Hairspray to the small screen as this year’s live musical broadcast. It’ll be the Peacock network’s most contemporary choice to date, and a show Craig Zadan and Neil Meron are pretty familiar with: they produced the 2007 film adaptation. We’re trying to figure out a way to incorporate Cirque du Soleil in 1960s Baltimore.

Matty Morrison's Moves Are Fresh & Loose
It’s been almost 18 years, but it’s always time to cut loose. Matthew Morrison made a surprise appearance at the Footloose reunion at 54 Below this week to revisit the show that marked his Broadway debut. The Finding Neverland star couldn’t stand still and was spotted dancing (the original choreography!) as Orfeh belted it out (as she does). Way to keep it fresh, Matty Fresh.

Musical Comedies Are Big at the Globes
If you love Bernadette Peters running around in gowns and shouting “RODRIIIIGO,” you’re in luck! Mozart in the Jungle took home the Golden Globe for Best TV Series (Comedy). We wish we were in L.A. to party with Bernie, because, well, we always do. Rachel Bloom also won for her musical series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, so take note: if you give us more Santino Fontana on TV, good things will happen.

Miriam Shor Has Hygenic Jewelry
Good news, fans of bed-breaking sex scenes and Sutton Foster shouting “cock” on primetime! TV Land’s Younger is back, and we’re giving you the rundown with emoji, GIFs and—of course—statement jewelry. In the season two premiere, Miriam Shor sported a statement necklace that doubles as a luxury bath mat. For more jewelry (and copious usage of the eggplant emoji), look our for our weekly recaps.

Broderick & Colbert Can Dance All Night
It’s not surprising that Matthew Broderick and Stephen Colbert share a musical theater dream role. We just weren’t expecting that role to require the range of Julie Andrews. The two revealed that they both want to play Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady and even offered up a taste of how it might sound. Hey guys, we hear a revival is in the works, but Laura Benanti will fight you for it. Aooow...

Andréa Burns Can RIIISE from Her Couch
The great Elaine Stritch left us too soon, but for Andréa Burns, she’ll always have a special connection. No, not her pre-show vodka stinger. Burns’ dresser, Maive Butler, gifted her a colorful set of throw pillows that previously belonged to Stritch (Butler was her dresser during A Little Night Music). To catch Burns tell stories about Rock Hudson while wearing no pants turn the beat around, check out On Your Feet!

Alex Brightman Rocks Out in 5/7/5
On top of being an actor, rocker and donut peddler, Alex Brightman is apparently a poet. The School of Rock vlogger revealed he’s adept at the Japanese art of haiku, and offered up a few examples. In true Dewey fashion, the traditional rules mean nothing to him, so some lines have six syllables instead of five. Here, let us try: We hear you have sweets/But we crave some over here/We’re across the street. (Literally. We are across the street. Please bring us donuts.)