Glee-Cap: Ep. 9: A Gravity-Defying Diva-Off
Two weeks of baseball instead of Glee can be hard on us devoted fans. But it’s nothing compared it to the trials and tribulations of Sue Sylvester: “Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told that they’re going in another direction. That was hard.” Not to worry, Gleeks! The show more than made up for its absence with vocal acrobatics, dueling divas, more than one emotional wallop and an homage to Wicked that oughta have Idina Menzel smiling from ear to ear. The episode’s called “Wheels,” so let’s roll!
We got to spend some quality time with mild-mannered, wheelchair-bound Artie this week; something we haven’t done before. Mr. Schue tries to convince Principal Figgins to rent a wheel-chair accessible bus for the Glee Club to take to sectionals. Figgins replies that there is no budget for such a thing. Mr. Schue’s amazingly original solution? Bake sale. How retro! The Glee kids are less than enthusiastic about the idea, and besides, can’t Artie’s dad just drive him there? Um, no. Mr. Schue (and Artie, in his quiet way) is appalled at the insensitivity of his students. Time to teach them a lesson. Conveniently, a local nursing home just unloaded a fleet of wheelchairs. Schue snaps them up and now all the Glee kids have to spend three hours a day rolling around—partly to prepare for an all-wheelchair number (can it beat Artie’s kickass solo take on Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself”?) and partly to get a compassion injection.
This is all very touching, but what about Wicked? Right. So Mr. Schue wants the club to perform songs—Broadway show tunes, standards—that are more “accessible” to the judges. His selection is none other than “Defying Gravity” from Wicked. OMG! (OK, breathe, people!) One person on the edge of hyperventilating about the number is Kurt. That’s nice, but Mr. Schue hands the song to Rachel, who seems awfully blasé about the chance to sing it. After all, it’s her go-to shower song and cell phone ring tone. So what if it has a high “F”? No prob. Kurt doesn’t let it go, though. After sharing his disappointment with his dad, and after his dad (who turns out to be a surprisingly stand-up guy) argues with the school that Kurt can’t be discriminated against for being “queer as a three-dollar bill,” Kurt is offered a chance to audition for the solo. Let the diva-off begin!
I won’t reveal who wins here, but let’s just say that the battle of the Elphies is breathtaking. And it’s pretty clear that while Kurt was fighting for his moment in the spotlight at sectionals, Lea Michele (who plays Rachel) seems to have given her screen test for the movie version of Wicked, should there ever be one.
Meanwhile, Quinn is getting all over Finn’s case for not financially helping with the mounting medical bills for “their” unborn baby. Do you know how expensive sonograms are? Sheesh! Why the girl doesn’t get her own job or, you know, share the glorious news with her parents, is one of those unexplained mysteries of the universe. In the meantime, Puck, the actual baby daddy, makes a killing by getting the school in a munchie mood (wink, wink) just in time for the Glee Club’s bake sale. He also pilfers from the sale to show Quinn what a good provider he can be.
The most bewildering plot twist of the episode goes to the one and only Sue Sylvester. Remember how she got all warm and fuzzy for a few seconds in episode eight and freaked us all out until she regained her vicious demeanor? Well, it looks like she actually does have a human side after all. We'll see.