You know what the West End needs? A musical based on the hit TV show The X Factor…at least according to Simon Cowell! The infamous host of the talent competition series is producing a new musical called—you guessed it—The X Factor Musical, according to The New York Post. Featuring an original score by Steve Brown and a book by British comedian Harry Hill, the musical held a workshop at London’s Soho Theatre, starring Broadway vet Alexander Hanson (A Little Night Music) as Cowell himself—yep, you heard us. Simon Cowell is actually a character in the musical.
Cowell attended the workshop production and reportedly said, “In case you’re wondering, I am behind this show 100% and will put my money in it.” The music mogul will co-produce with Stage Entertainment, and The X Factor Musical is said to have a budget of $16 million—most of which we assume will be spent on metal scaffolding, lasers and screaming tweens planted in the audience.
The X Factor Musical tells the story of a young woman living in a trailer park with her grandfather who is in an iron lung. The woman goes on an audition for The X Factor and makes it through the first round, thanks to her astounding voice. Mostly a spoof of the TV show and Cowell, The X Factor Musical ends with (spoiler alert!) the British judge getting into a spaceship and heading back to his home planet. Yep, he’s an alien. Damn, this musical keeps getting better and better.
So far, the only song title released is “Falling in Love With Myself,” a ballad Cowell sings about how great he is. We have a few other song title suggestions: “I Love Wearing My White V-Neck,” “That Sounded Like Bad Karaoke” and “My Pen’s Got More Charisma Than You.” If the proposed West End run goes well, The Post hints that the musical could come to Broadway in two years. Is it 2015 yet? We're counting down the days.