Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 12, and Broadway.com editors wanted to do something special for all the wonderful and hard-working moms who changed our diapers, read us bedtime stories and picked us up from drama club rehearsal. So, we asked Matilda scene-stealer Lesli Margherita, who plays Broadway’s most ridiculous and outrageous mother, Mrs. Wormwood, to reflect on famous musical matriarchs. Appropriately enough, Margherita decided to share her thoughts in character! Uh-oh...read on for Mrs. Wormwood's top five list, which—not surprisingly—includes herself. Oh, and if you're stuck for a great gift for your own loving mom, why not choose something she is sure to love: a Broadway.com gift card!
Lesli Margherita was asked to write this feature, but everyone knows you can't trust actors (especially one with a name that sounds like a stripper). So, I have stolen her typing thingy. Actually, I'm thinking out LOUD as my dance partner Rudolpho types this. I wont mess up my nails for anyone, not even for Broadway.com. If there are spelling errors, forgive him. With a tush like that, who really cares?
So...it's Mother's Day!! ('scuse me, I just threw up a little). As someone who knows how hard it is to have children (if only just so your husband will finally leave you alone), Broadwaysingydancy.com has asked me to weigh in on five famous Broadway mothers. Wait..."weigh in"?? Someone is getting fired for that! I will, however, happily give my fantastico expert opinion.
Okay, let's hurry it up Broadshoulders.com. I've got ballroom practice to get to.
1. Mother Superior from The Sound of Music
Are. You. Mad?? This woman has the worst fashion sense I've ever seen. Black and White? More like Blech and Why? That hat alone is probably why there are no men around that place. Also, why would anyone climb anything except the social ladder? Mountains? I can't. She is a horrible mother for even suggesting someone go out into nature. Next.
2. Momma Rose from Gypsy
Yes, Broadpeopleflailingonstage.com! Now you have the right idea of a great mother. If you are forced to have children, at least make sure one of them is talented, and then exploit that child to make you money. Put the ugly untalented one in the cow's rear, and then stand onstage and scream FOR ME! FOR MAY! FOR MEEEEEEEEE! (Still dunno who May is, but whatevah).
3. Fantine from Les Miserables
NEVER CUT YOUR HAIR FOR ANYONE, especially your child. Keep the hair, sell the child. That dirty little soprano was like what, 4? She hasn't formed an attachment yet, get rid of her. You can get another kid, hair takes too long to grow out, and you are hideous until it does.
4. Mrs. Darling from Peter Pan
Excellent mother. Truly. Go out for a night on the town, leave the dog in charge of watching your children, and leave all the windows open. Then watch as a feminine looking boy gives your kids dust which makes them think they can fly. If they don't come back, at least you've given them some fun. I like her.
5. Mrs. Wormwood from Matilda
Whot? Who are you kidding, BroadsonIce.com?? I'm not a mother character on Broadway! I AM Broadway!
Happy Mother's Day, and if you do have any little maggots at home, don't let them forget that EVERY day is Mother's Day as they are cleaning the toilets.
Kisses, Mrs. W