It’s that time again—time for inconceivable yet entertaining dream casting! This week, we’re taking a look at six of this summer’s biggest hits (as well as The Lone Ranger) and giving them imaginary musical makeovers. Could First Date’s Zachary Levi make a singing Superman work? Would Laura Benanti make a kick-ass musical theater ringer for Sandra Bullock? Check out our always ridiculous list of movie-to-musical possibilities below!
MAN OF STEEL
Dream Cast: Zachary Levi as Superman, Joanna Christie as Lois Lane, Michael Cerveris as General Zod
Musical Math: It’s A Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Superman x Cry-Baby
Could It Work?: Superman didn’t do so well on stage the first time, but a musical origin story might fare slightly better. And when it comes time to stage that whole Metropolis-gets-absolutely-destroyed business in act three…cue a high-concept tap number!
Big Number: “I Wish I Could Go Back to Krypton”
STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS
Dream Cast: Colin Donnell as Kirk, Reeve Carney as Spock, Condola Rashad as Uhura, Stark Sands as Khan, Telly Leung as Sulu, Andy Karl as Bones, Seth Numrich as Chekov
Musical Math: (Return to the Forbidden Planet + The Rocky Horror Show) x Shatner’s World: We Just Live in It
Could It Work?: Sci-fi is grossly underrepresented on the Great White Way. We might never know what we’re missing if we don’t take a chance on swapping shoe-loving drag queens for intergalactic explorers or ginger orphans for bloodthirsty Klingons.
Big Number: “If I Were A Rich Khan”
Dream Cast: Laura Benanti as Ashburn, Keala Settle as Mullins
Musical Math: [Catch Me If You Can + (Funny Girl x 2)] ÷ Chicago
Could It Work?: Benanti and Settle teaming up as a pair of foul-mouthed lady cops who track down a drug lord—in roles created on screen by Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy? Count us in. They'll be just like Roxie and Velma, only solving murders instead of committing them!
Big Number: “Too Darn The Heat”
IRON MAN 3
Dream Cast: Steve Kazee as Tony Stark, Ashley Spencer as Pepper Potts, Bryan Terrell Clark as James Rhodes, Alan Cumming as The Mandarin
Musical Math: (The Music Man’s Harold Hill + Nice Work If You Can Get It’s Jimmy Winters) x Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark
Could It Work? The special effects might need some extra oomph (where you at, Taymor!?) but Tony Stark’s oozing charisma would translate well into a musical leading man. Plus, this solo endeavor for Iron Man would open the door for The Avengers: The Musical down the line (inspired casting: Audra as The Hulk??).
Big Number: “As Long As He Needs (An Electromagnetic Arc Reactor In His Chest)”
THE LONE RANGER
Dream Cast: Andrew Rannells as The Lone Ranger, Cheyenne Jackson as Tonto
Musical Math: Paint Your Wagon x (Annie Get Your Gun - Annie)
Could It Work? Well, the movie didn’t, so maybe there’s hope for a stage show. It’s got the ingredients: Two intrepid heroes, the raucous Wild West and enough corsets to make William Ivey Long swoon.
Big Number: “Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Kemo Sabe”
WE’RE THE MILLERS
Dream Cast: Gavin Creel as David, Caissie Levy as Rose, Andy Richardson as Kenny, Ariana Grande as Casey
Musical Math: Reefer Madness + Next to Normal
Could It Work? A pot dealer, a stripper, a runaway and a teenage loser form a fake family for a drug-smuggling journey across the Mexican border? Absolutely, this works! Bet Andrew Lloyd Webber wishes he came up with this classy masterpiece, right?
Big Number: “One Bong Glory”