This week has been a whirlwind of Broadway openings, awesome events and surprise news, so what better way to celebrate than revisiting the wild and wacky stuff we’ve learned over the last seven days? Idina Menzel, Santino Fontana, Audra McDonald and more Broadway stars taught us some very important life lessons about celery, scarves and hookers. So, without further ado, we present the Lessons of the Week!
Idina Menzel Chills With Beyonce
Frozen’s “Let It Go,” as sung by The Wicked-ly Talented Idina Menzel (that’s her full, legal name), is number nine on the Billboard charts, alongside Beyonce and Lorde. Wait, does this mean she’s officially a pop star?! We’re booking our Super Bowl tickets now.
Broadway Needs More Hookers
We’ve had our fill of kids and drag queens. It’s time for prostitutes to make a Broadway comeback! A Pretty Woman musical is in the works, joining the ranks of previous hooker tuners The Life and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Hey, Bryan Cranston’s into it.
Santino Fontana Is a Disney Sperm Donor
Because he only worked on the animated smash-hit Frozen for five days, Act One star Santino Fontana says he feels more like a sperm donor than a star. Wait, that’s how movies are born? We thought they were delivered by the Netflix stork! Thanks for destroying our innocence, Santino.
Ask Audra McDonald Your Celery Queries
Got an urgent question about vegetables? No problem! Post it on Yahoo Answers and there’s a decent chance five-time Tony winner Audra McDonald will sing the answer on The Tonight Show. She’s also available for parties and dog auditions.
Adam Jacobs Owned Hammer Pants
It’s tricky to walk, dance and ride magic carpets in baggy pants (trust us, we’ve tried), but don’t worry, Aladdin star Adam Jacobs had plenty of practice. He owned a snazzy pair of M.C. Hammer pants as a kid, and we will offer a handsome reward to anyone with photo evidence.
Lesli Margherita Has Separation Anxiety
In a melancholy episode of Looks Not Books, Queen Lesli says goodbye to her on-stage husband Gabriel Ebert and some beloved maggots. Well, they try to leave while she sobs uncontrollably. Interestingly, a similar incident happened when we tried to take her video camera.
Sutton Foster’s Towel Is Sacred
This week, Beautiful star Jarrod Spector discovered an old towel marked “Sutton” backstage at the Stephen Sondheim Theatre, and was so smitten he made a shrine for it. It’s on display in his dressing room, right next to Aaron Tveit’s hair gel and Kristin Chenoweth’s retainer.
Stallone Ain’t Scared of Salmonella
When David Letterman challenged Rocky scribe Sylvester Stallone to eat raw eggs on The Late Show, he manned up and downed two, insisting, “I don’t care [about salmonella], I’ve had everything you can catch.” Hmm. Remind us not to share a toothbrush with Sly.
Christine Dwyer Thinks Daphne Is Idina
The new Wicked star says she knew she wanted to be an actress when she listened to the Rent cast recording and noticed Idina Menzel had a “low, raspy voice” like hers. Hang on—raspy voice? Are you sure that wasn’t Daphne Rubin-Vega? Was she singing about candles or cows?
Norman Bates Is Creepier In a Scarf
After watching the newest episode of Bates Motel (you know, where Normie almost auditions for a musical?), we started dreamcasting the serial murderer in all sorts of roles. Sure, he’d make a scary Sweeney Todd, but he's really intimidating as Mark Cohen. Please call your motherrrrr…