Idina Menzel Don’t Know Jack About Balls, Jim Parsons Created the Universe & More Lessons of the Week

It’s Friday, and you know what that means—time to buy eight more TiVos so you can make extra sure you record Idina Menzel singing “Let It Go” “Defying Gravity” the National Anthem at the Super Bowl! But wait, but before you hightail it to Best Buy, you’ve gotta check out the crazy things we learned this week about our favorite Broadway stars (yes, including Idina). Check ‘em out!

Idina Menzel Is Going Balls to the Wall
Yes, the If/Then star is singing at the Super Bowl on Sunday, so she’s spent her entire week hanging out with a ton of testosterone-fueled football players, getting down and dirty at the stadium and fielding questions about balls. “I’ve decided I’m not really qualified to comment on the weight of anyone’s balls,” the Tony winner said, making us wonder what qualifications one needs and where to sign up for said qualifications.

Martin Short Has a Colonoscopy Club
When you’re a mega-star, everything is more glamorous...especially routine medical procedures! It’s Only a Play star Martin Short, Steve Martin and Tom Hanks apparently eat Jell-O and uh, get their colons checked together. Man, celebrities have all the fun.

Jennifer Nettles Got Her First B’way Scar
Her opening night isn’t until February 2, but the new Chicago star already has her first battle wound: A gash on her forehead. No, a chorus boy didn’t high-kick her in the face—she scratched herself while trying to do a Fosse pose. Don’t forget, Jennifer, Broadway is a contact sport. Just ask Idina Menzel.

Don't Call Matt Doyle, He’ll Call You
Brooklynite star Matt Doyle can perform in front of thousands of people without breaking a sweat, but when he had to make phone calls in his old gig as a “terrible” production assistant, he clammed up. Matt, you just keep singing and we’ll make all of your phone calls for you. Especially any you might need to make to your old Spring Awakening cohorts.

Jonathan Groff Wants a Spring Three-Way
Speaking of "The Song of Purple Summer" (and when aren't we?), Jonathan Groff revealed that there’s not one, but two Spring Awakening cast members he’d love to hook up with on his HBO series Looking: Gideon Glick and John Gallagher, Jr. At the same time. Like, a three-way. OMG, this is even better than that Spring Awakening fan fiction we wrote when we were 15.

The Wicked Cast Knows What’s Goin’ On
The cast of Wicked obviously knows about “Popular,” but there’s something else they’re well-versed in: Songs from the '90s we thought (and hoped) we'd never hear again. Broadway.com vlogger Kara Lindsay walked in on her co-star Caroline Bowman seriously rocking out to "What's Up" by the 4 Non Blondes. Now do Lisa Loeb!

Jim Parsons Is Holier Than Thou
Move over, Jesus Christ Superstar, there’s a new almighty dude on the Broadway scene: Jim Parsons! The Big Bang Theory star will answer all your deepest existential questions in An Act of God—like why the sky is blue, why dogs rule and cats drool, and why they took away the Tony Award for Best Sound Design.

Hey, B’way Hopefuls! If You Can’t Sing, Lie
Starring on Broadway doesn’t always require years of intense vocal training with Liz Caplan. Instead, just catch the attention of a casting director, lie through your teeth when she asks you if you can sing, and fake it ‘til you make it! Hey, it worked for The Book of Mormon star John Christopher O’Neill.

Sarah Brightman's Mascara Is Space-Proof
The Phantom of the Opera favorite Sarah Brightman is almost ready for her long-awaited trip to space. She’s got her bags packed with everything she might need: $52 million? Check. Space helmet? Check. Perfectly coiffed hair? Check. Mascara? Check. Eye shadow? Check. Yep, she’s ready.

We’re Hopelessly Devoted to Darren Criss
...And so are Broadway.com readers, who voted Criss their top pick for Danny Zuko in Fox’s Grease: Live. We can see it now: Broadway.com riding shotgun while Darren Criss speeds to the drive-in, singing sweet nothings in our ear. Wait, what’s that you say? That Julianne Hough is Sandy, and besides, a website can’t play the romantic lead in a musical? Fine, whatever, we’ll be Doody.