Christian Borle’s Hips Don’t Lie, Elphaba and Glinda Make Terrible Frogs & More Lessons of the Week

Whoever said April is the cruelest month (was it Christian Borle?) obviously never met February. It's freezing, it's damp, and no new Broadway shows are opening. But never fear—the Lessons of the Week are here to keep you warm! We're revisiting the craziest stuff that happened in the last seven days, from Darren Criss' glittery new gig to Rob McClure's steamy trip to the mall. Check out what we learned!

Christian Borle's Bringing the Britney, Bitch
We think he did it again. Christian Borle is adding two important elements to his portrayal of William Shakespeare in the new musical Something Rotten: hip swiveling and the essence of late-era Britney Spears. Well, if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that a Britney by any other name would look as great in red pleather pants. Bring it, Borle.

Kick Cancer’s Butt with Cauliflower
First, the bad news: Broadway and Smash alum Krysta Rodriguez has been diagnosed with breast cancer. But according to her, it’s “highly treatable”—and while she fights this thing, she’s cooking up mashed cauliflower “fauxtatoes” and wearing fabulous fashion to stay healthy and keep her spirits high. We’re cheering for you every step of the way, Krysta. Pass the fauxtatoes!

Kara Lindsay Has Two New Green Friends
Wicked star and Broadway.com video blogger Kara Lindsay got a very special birthday surprise this week: Two pet frogs! There’s only one problem—they have no names. She’s asking you guys to come up with ideas for names and post them on Twitter. But not Elphaba and Glinda. And not Elsa and Anna. Geez, Kara—what other names even are there?

David Burtka Is a Blushing Bride
It Shoulda Been You leading man David Burtka is thrilled to be back on Broadway, but he’s a little confused about the role he’s playing. While describing the show, he accidentally told Broadway.com he’d be playing the bride (instead of the groom) in the new musical comedy. Wait, we want to see you play the bride! Your suave husband NPH can give you hair and makeup tips!

Darren Criss’ Glittery Dreams Came True
Here’s another guy who might need beautification tips from NPH: Darren Criss, who is stepping into Hedwig’s shiny gold boots beginning April 29! After telling us that the transgender East German rock goddess is his dream role, we couldn’t be more psyched for him. And for ourselves. Because in case you’ve forgotten, WE’RE DARRENCRISS.COM. Heart you, Darren. Always and forever. XOXO. Love, Broadway.com.

Pin Curls Are the Foundation of Life
If you thought love, money, God or mollusks were the essence of life, you’d be incorrect. As wise Chicago hairstylist Mandrill Hardge advises Jennifer Nettles on her Broadway.com video blog, the foundation of life is pin curls—lots and lots of pin curls. Hmm, looks like we’ve been doing this whole “life” thing wrong.

Katie Finneran Wants to Feed the Orphans
It’s Only a Play’s Katie Finneran isn’t just a talented Broadway leading lady—she’s also a mom of two, and sometimes both worlds collide. Finneran told us that while playing Miss Hannigan in Annie, the star, who had just had her second child and was still breastfeeding, would lactate whenever the orphans sang. Let’s file this tidbit in the TMI folder, shall we?

Rob McClure Had a Hot Date at Sears
The Honeymoon in Vegas star had some crazy first dates before meeting his wife Maggie. Like the time in high school he went to the mall with a girl, she took him to Sears, she asked him for some help with her, um...tools, he said no and she broke up with him. Hey, whatever. Sometimes you gotta get “Friki-Friki” at the mall. Nothing wrong with that. Right, Kim Cattrall?

Kristin Chenoweth Is a Lover, Not a Slicer
On the Twentieth Century headliner Kristin Chenoweth is so many things—a Tony winner, a Schmackary’s addict, an assistant principal—and she’s also a lady who cares about her fellow man. While getting a pedicure, she also opted to have her nails clipped so she won’t “slice up” her co-stars. How thoughtful, Kristin! Andy Karl got enough battle wounds last season.

Broadway Fans Wanna Get Freaky
This week, we pitted in-the-works Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey musicals Freaky Friday and Magic Mike against each other on The Broadway.com Show, and naturally, 73% of you guys chose male strippers in...wait, what? You didn’t?! You chose a mom and her daughter swapping places in Freaky Friday? Wait. Over strippers?!?! We don’t even know you anymore.