Bradley Cooper Is Following You, Sarah Brightman’s Space Dreams Are Over & More Lessons of the Week

It’s Friday at Broadway.com (and if you don’t know what that means by now, you have some very important reading to catch up on)! Time to revisit all of the strange stuff that happened this week, from Darren Criss’ failed makeup tutorial to Leanne Cope’s super sexy stalker (Hint: His name rhymes with “Shmradley Shmooper.”) Get ready for the Lessons of the Week!

Don’t Ask Darren Criss to Do Your Eyeliner
Hedwig Schmidt may be a makeup expert, but Darren Criss, the dude who plays her, isn’t quite so smooth with an eyeliner pencil. When asked to do a video make-up demonstration, Criss failed miserably, turning the poor subject into an Italian opera buffone. Hey Darren, next time ask Christian Borle for help.

Taye Diggs Has an Angry Inch
Speaking of dudes in drag, guess who the next Hedwig star might be? Yep, Taye Diggs. We know he’s got a rock voice from his Rent days, and he’s got great bone structure, so we’re sure he’ll look fab all glammed up. We just have one question: Can Idina play Yitzhak? Please?!

Leanne Cope Has a Sexy Stalker
The Tony nominee has three cute guys pining after her in An American in Paris, and offstage, she still has to ward off the admirers. In her Tony secrets video, she (jokingly) slapped Bradley Cooper with a restraining order. Bradley, if you don’t start behaving yourself, we’ll be forced to dreamcast you as the Phantom.

Santino Fontana Is a Rebound Dude
The Tony nominee is making his way to our TV screens this spring, but no, he’s not playing the romantic lead—he’s playing the guy Rachel Bloom pretends to like while she’s pining after someone else. Santino, you’ll always be our number-one prince. The Prince of Waffles, but our prince nonetheless.

Julie White’s Tony Accessory Is a Flask
Well, we know who we’ll be hanging out with at the Tony Awards. Airline Highway star Julie White revealed that her secret weapon to surviving the ceremony is booze. Which makes us wonder...exactly what kind of alcohol were you planning to bring, Julie? (Hint: We love tequila.)

Nathan Lane Is the Mayor of Broadway
When we asked stars at the Actors Fund Gala honoring Michael Bloomberg who the mayor of Broadway is, we got a lot of fun answers, including Bernadette Peters and Barbra Streisand. But we’re putting the guy who got the most votes, Nathan Lane, into office. Nathan, your first order of business is to unionize the Times Square Elmos, Newsies-style.

Matthew Morrison’s Got Vlog Knowledge
Well, he has incorrect vlog knowledge, but knowledge nonetheless. Matt, who watched Laura Michelle Kelly film her vlog Never Grow Up, insisted to new vlogger Max von Essen that he doesn’t get to keep our camera when he’s done. Wrong Matt, he does! All we ask in return are eight entertaining episodes. And maybe a peanut butter cup once in a while.

Alex Sharp Is a Puppy Killer
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Tony nominee Alex Sharp stopped by Show People this week to deliver some very disturbing news. You know what happens to the adorable puppies when they get too old for the show? They’re killed! Oh, calm down guys, he was just kidding. We think.

Alan Cumming Gives Free Belly Rubs
Have you ever been sitting at the bar, drinking a gin and tonic (oh and BTW Julie White, we also love gin) and thought, “Wow, I could sure use a belly rub right now”? Never fear, Tony Awards co-host Alan Cumming is here! It's true, it happened to Fun Home's Emily Skeggs. Emily, ordinarily that would sound pretty far-fetched, but since it's Alan, we know it's totally plausible.

Sarah Brightman Is Staying on Earth
Bad news, everyone. After countless photo ops, $52 million, an outer space playlist and the promise of a spaceship concert, the Sarah Brightman Intergalactic Journey has officially been canceled. We know, your weekend is ruined. Possibly your entire life. We’re sorry. Here's something to cheer you up.