Lockdown! Eight Broadway Divas We'd Kill to See Behind Bars on Orange Is the New Black

Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black is back for its third season of girl-on-girl fun featuring a bevy of Broadway stars on lockdown. In fact, the new batch of episodes even includes juicy backstories for stage faves Lea DeLaria (as bawdy Big Boo) and Annie Golden (as mute mystery woman Norma). But binge-watching the new season made us wish we could see even more of our fave leading ladies behind bars at Litchfield Penitentiary. Hey Netflix, here are some humble suggestions, along with some convenient character backstories based on their Broadway triumphs.

Annaleigh Ashford
Broadway Killings: Kinky Boots, You Can’t Take It With You
Inmate: Lauren, factory manager
Crime: One spiky heel in the eye of her shoe-making husband Charlie when he threatens to leave her for an Angel.

Sierra Boggess
Broadway Killings: The Little Mermaid, The Phantom of the Opera
Inmate: Rebecca Steinberg, Manhattan redhead
Crime: Fraud for scamming friends and family for a honeymoon fund under false circumstances.

Megan Hilty
Broadway Killings: Wicked, 9 to 5
Inmate: Ivy Lynn, Tony-winning Broadway actress
Crime: Running prescription drug operation from dressing room backstage at Lily Hayes Theatre.

Celia Keenan-Bolger
Broadway Killings: Peter and the Starcatcher, The Glass Menagerie
Inmate: Olive Ostrovsky-Miller, spelling bee stage mom
Crime: Sexual bribery of multiple judges to give daughter “dumbed-down” words at statewide competition.

Caissie Levy
Broadway Killings: Hair, Ghost the Musical, Les Miserables
Inmate: Molly Jensen, Manhattan artist
Crime: Aggravated harassment of one Oda Mae Brown after repeatedly showing up at Harlem apartment hysterical, asking for her dead husband.

Lesli Margherita
Broadway Killings: Matilda, Looks Not Books
Inmate: Mrs. Wormwood, housewife
Crime: Child endangerment for leaving daughter locked in her SUV during an extended “dance lesson.”

Idina Menzel
Broadway Killings: Rent, Wicked, If/Then
Inmate: Maureen Johnson, lesbian rabble-rouser
Crime: Inciting a riot at East Village McDonald’s for it’s very existence.

Orfeh
Broadway Killings: Saturday Night Fever, Legally Blonde
Inmate: Paulette, “Bahston” beautician
Crime: Irish mob-style execution of tanning parlor owner who may or may not have slept with her husband, a UPS employee.