Orlando Bloom Deserves a Pint, Lindsay Mendez Has Wicked Disco Fever & More Lessons of the Week

OK, we know Halloween is over, but here’s one final treat to start your weekend off right: our Lessons of the Week! So many fun things have happened on Broadway these past seven days, from a very Wicked birthday to a trick-or-treating session with Annie orphans dressed as drag queens (yes, you read that correctly). Read below to find out all the crazy stuff we learned this week.

Neil Patrick Harris Will Wig Out Without a Net
It takes big (and carefully tucked) kahunas to rock out onstage for 90 minutes in a wig and guyliner, but Hedwig and the Angry Inch star Neil Patrick Harris is high-kicking this whole Broadway thing up a notch. This week, Harris revealed he’ll tackle the title role in the high-energy, gritty, emotional, sweaty musical with no understudy—which if you’ve seen the show, is justifiably insane. Foiled again, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, foiled again.

Ladies, Orlando Bloom Is Officially Available
He may be fair Romeo on Broadway, but after performing for an adoring audience and signing 300,000 or so programs at the stage door, Orlando Bloom goes home to an empty apartment. Sadly, the Romeo and Juliet star split from his model wife Miranda Kerr this week, and we can just see him now, sitting on the couch, watching Say Anything and sniffling over a pint of Chubby Hubby ice cream. Orlando, we’re coming over with chocolate. Be there in five.

The Annie Orphans Know How to Werq It
Most third graders dream of being witches, ghosts or Miley Cyrus for Halloween, but Annie cuties Tyrah Skye Odoms and Brooklyn Shuck had more sophisticated (and glittery) getups in mind. The pair stepped out in their high-fashion Kinky Boots costumes, featuring Odoms as drag diva Lola and Shuck as the more buttoned-up Charlie, and headed to the Al Hirschfeld Theatre to show off their Kinky creations to the cast. Ooh girls, RuPaul would be so proud.

Disney Villains Have Feelings, Too
Sure, she stole Ariel’s voice and otherwise made life under the sea a living hell, but this week, American Idol alum Todrick Hall taught us that Ursula deserves the same respect as every other sea hag on the ocean floor. His Disneyfied spoof of the Chicago tune “The Cell Block Tango” features cameos from Amber Riley, Adam Lambert, Shoshana Bean and more as the animated villains that scared the sh*t out of us as kids. You did get the rights to these characters, didn’t you, Todrick?

Broadway Was Really Low-Def in 2003
We’ve been digging through our archives for a new Classic Collection video series, and man, do we have a lot of awesome Wicked footage from 10 years ago. It seems like the hit mega-musical opened just yesterday, but now that we take a peek into the past, we realize things were different in 2003. Norbert Leo Butz had earrings (and a bit more hair), Idina Menzel barely knew what an opening night was, and apparently, Broadway.com was shooting videos on a VHS camcorder. Stay tuned for more fun commentary on semi-shaky footage from seasons past!

The Matilda Girls Are So Gullible
The four talented rugrats of Matilda had a big shock this week when their huge quadruple portrait was unveiled at Sardi’s. Why were they so surprised? The cast told their pint-sized co-stars they were going to the legendary restaurant for an “autumn party,” which is the weakest, lamest cover-up of all time. They weren’t even trying to make it sound like a real event, and the Matildas were still gobsmacked. Wow girls, we always thought four heads were better than one, but maybe not.

Ugh, the Wee Posse Is So Over Their Parents’ Singing
Imagine this scenario: Your parents are Will Swenson and Audra “I-have-five-freakin'-Tony-Awards” McDonald (that’s her legal name, right?). Now imagine them singing “The Confrontation” from Les Miz to get Dad ready for his Broadway turn as Javert. Amazing, right? Well, if you’re real-life kiddos Bridger, Sawyer and Zoe, it’s a total yawn. “They think we’re so obnoxious when we sing loudly,” Swenson told us. Hmm. Some of us gladly pay $139 plus a convenience fee to hear that kind of obnoxiousness.

Lindsay Mendez Was a Human Disco Ball in High School
We knew Wicked star Lindsay Mendez looked a little bit too comfortable in all that green goop she puts on every night. In a very special encore episode of Fly Girl for the musical’s 10th birthday, the star reveals her glam high school makeup routine—Step one: Cover eyelids in hair gel. Step two: Create a glitter explosion. Step three: Blind everyone who comes within a 10-foot radius of her shimmery face. Wow, Lindsay, are you sure you’re playing the right witch?

Rocky’s First Fight Is Just For Fans
They say the best things in life are free, and this is definitely the case with the new musical Rocky, which is offering a super-special sneak peek to fans five months before its big opening night fight on the Great White Way. Broadway.com will be releasing a limited number of free tickets throughout the next two weeks via Twitter, Facebook and Google+, so if we were you, we’d start studying the movie, listening to “Eye of the Tiger” on repeat and running up and down the steps in short shorts to prepare.

We Finally Know the Wicked Secret Glinda Is Whispering
For the last 10 years, we’ve lost hours of sleep asking ourselves an important question: What the heck is Glinda whispering to Elphaba on the Wicked poster? At the 10th anniversary performance, stars of past and present mused about farts (“I just tooted?”), catch phrases (“Are you gellin’?”) and more farts (“Something about butts or poop”). The obvious real answer came from Annaleigh Ashford: “You have a booger hanging out of your nose, but no one knows because your skin is green.” Annaleigh, you have no idea how happy you’ve made us. #changedforgood