Aaron Tveit Is the Dolphin Whisperer, Laura Benanti Has Sweaty Wrists & More Lessons of the Week

It’s the first day of spring, so naturally we’ve spent the day bundled up in our winter coats, rocking back and forth and crying. Because there’s a blizzard in the Big Apple. Of course there is. To cheer you (and ourselves) up, we’re recapping the 10 craziest things that happened this week, from Sierra Boggess’ mandatory salt lamp to Jonathan Groff’s highly visible butt cheeks. Here come the Lessons of the Week!

Duncan Sheik Misses Jonathan Groff’s Butt
This week, Spring Awakening composer Duncan Sheik reminded us of the old days, when we had to walk uphill in the snow alllll the way to the Eugene O’Neill Theatre to get a glimpse of Jonathan Groff’s butt cheeks. Now, all we have to do is turn on HBO’s Looking and there they are, in high-def. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it.

Julie White’s the Martha Stewart of Whores
The Tony winner has played a lot of kooky characters in her day, but her new role in Airline Highway takes the 15-layer cake with hand-churned buttercream frosting. In the new dark comedy she’s playing Tanya, a hooker with a flair for party planning. Hey, we know this great gal Fantine who could use some cheering up...

We Can’t Make ‘Fetch’ Happen
So, we have good news and bad news. The good news? The Mean Girls musical is 60% complete, according to co-writer Jeff Richmond. The bad news? There’s no “fetch” song and there probably isn’t going to be. We don’t think our father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased with this.

Laura Benanti Has Sweaty Wrist Syndrome
Tony winner Laura Benanti is bravely going where no Singer Who Moves Well has gone before: the Rockettes kickline. And there’s a reason her new gig in the New York Spring Spectacular is even tougher—she’s living with Sweaty Wrist Syndrome, a mysterious illness doctors know almost nothing about. You’re so brave, Laura. So, so brave.

Dolphins Love Aaron Tveit & NLB
We know Aaron Tveit and Norbert Leo Butz have lots of human admirers, but apparently even aquatic creatures can’t resist them. While jet skiing in the Florida Keys together (let’s just take a second to get that visual. Got it? OK), Aaron and Norbs were approached by a school of dolphins. Fins off, Flipper. Those guys are ours.

Sierra Boggess Needs Her Salt Lamp
When It Shoulda Been You star Sierra Boggess moved into her new dressing room at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre, she brought along just a few essential items: a Himalayan salt lamp, a love lamp, a piece of rose quartz, a buddha from Norm Lewis and a Zen garden. That is enough stuff, Sierra. That is so enough. You will never know how enough that stuff is.

Telly Leung Has a Kinky B’way Godmother
The World of Extreme Happiness and Allegiance star Telly Leung owes his career to a Tony-winning force of nature: Kinky Boots favorite Billy Porter. The star convinced Leung to audition for Flower Drum Song, and he must have sprinkled magic glitter on the casting directors, because he got the part! Oh, and Telly is insanely talented, so that must have helped. But the glitter!

Arielle Jacobs Had an 8-Year Audition
It turns out Wicked’s new Nessarose isn’t so new after all. The In the Heights alum (and sis of Aladdin star Adam Jacobs) has been auditioning to play Elphie’s younger sister for almost eight years. First of all, eight years?! Arielle, were you 10 when you first started auditioning? But to quote our favorite witches, it's clear you and this role deserve each other.

JCM Was the Justin Bieber of B’way
Before John Cameron Mitchell became internationally adored for his performance in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, he was making a few 13-year-old girls swoon as apparent “teen idol” Dickon in The Secret Garden. Oh come on, don’t lie. Your room was plastered with Dickon photos and you listened to “Wick” every night before you went to sleep. Admit it, Snowdrop. Admit it.

Jerry O’Connell Is Jealous of a Dog
Living on Love’s Jerry O’Connell is a big stage and screen star, so you’d think he’d have the confidence to back it up. But he can’t stop comparing his performance to the stellar skills of his glamorous co-star Trixie. Jerry, we don’t blame you—we saw Trixie in Bullets Over Broadway, and to be honest, you should be worried. That diva’s got pizzazz.