Good Cheno-Bits: Kristin Chenoweth Turns the Other Cheek & Reclaims Her Virginity on a Supersized GCB

On Easter Sunday, ABC brought forth two holy new episodes of GCB, featuring Tony winner Kristin Chenoweth as Carlene Cockburn. First, Carlene takes the high road by asking her rival Amanda to be matron of honor in the Cockburns’ 17th annual wedding vow renewal ceremony. But just as Carlene turns the other cheek, Amanda (accidentally!) shoots her in the butt with a hunting rifle. In the second GCB episode, Carlene starts a church celibacy club for high schoolers and is shocked to find her son kissing Amanda’s daughter in the club’s haunted anti-sex attraction, “The Heck House.”

Name: Carlene Cockburn

High School Nickname: Oval Office

Costume Changes: 11, in two episodes

Cutest Sleepwear: Pink satin nightgown and feather robe

Hunting Outfit: Camouflage blazer with matching leggings (and giant rifle)

Fashion Emergency:  “Does this gun make me look fat?”

Vow Renewal Ceremony Theme: Gone With the Wind

Hair Accessory: Pink Velcro curlers

Backhanded Compliment: “At least you’re using your boobies for good and not for evil. This time.”

Silver Lining: “I do offer up thanks that my right buttock remains intact, but my special [vow renewal] week has been destroyed.”

Secret Confession: “Only my beloved husband has ever gotten to home plate. But there were boys that made it to other bases. Some even ran around in the outfield a little bit.”

Church Celibacy Club: Hillside Park Purity Pioneers (HPPP)

“Heck House” Attractions: Perils of Promiscuity, Unwanted Pregnancy, Drug Abuse, Teenage Prostitution, Unpopularity, Roofie Nightmare

Teen Sex Advice: “Be careful. It’s a dangerous time and you’re young, and your hormones aren’t in pill form.”