Glee-Cap: Ep. 8: Crazy, Mixed-Up World

We are welcomed to the new world order near the beginning of this week’s episode of Glee. Apparently, the new world order includes slushie terrorists, inappropriate wedding songs, the popular kids as outcasts and (gulp) a happy and playful Sue Sylvester.

Will announces in Glee Club rehearsal that everyone should come up with a mash-up of two songs, but what he’s really doing is setting up the theme for the entire episode... and showing off his mad break-dancing (!) skills as he gets down to Young MC’s “Bust a Move” with the kids. Go, Mr. Schue!

Flirty Emma and her unlikely fiancé Ken Tanaka also have a mash-up in mind. Ken insists on having a first dance with his bride at their upcoming nuptials, which Emma wishes they could do via email—or any other method that doesn’t include touching and other yucky stuff. Anyway, the couple can’t agree on what the wedding song should be. She wants “I Could Have Danced All Night” from My Fair Lady. He insists on the “Thong Song.” Classy. They ask Will to meld the songs together—and dancing lessons for Emma to boot. Of course, Will and Emma can’t have an exchange that isn’t fraught with sexual tension, so when Ken catches them in what appears to be a compromising position, he isn't surprised (no one on the planet is). But he is ticked off.

Meanwhile, things are not going well for high school power couple Finn and Quinn. Finn is humiliated when an athlete throws a slushie in his face (apparently, this is common torture for the uncool kids—but it’s Finn’s first grape-flavored facial). In other words, the power couple has no power. They look to Emma for guidance on retaining their cool. She doesn’t have any pamphlets on being popular, so she naturally advises sunglasses. Well, what do you expect from a straitlaced guidance counselor?

Seeking vengeance at Will, Ken takes his frustration out on the kids like any good grown-up would. He makes the football players choose between practice and Glee rehearsal by changing the team schedule. You didn’t think that the Glee Club-football mash-up would work forever, did you? Finn succumbs to peer pressure (and slushie fear) and chooses football.

Meanwhile, there is really weird love in the air. Mohawked Puck decides he has a thing for “hot Jewish girl” Rachel after an outrageous side trip through his wacky family’s Jewish traditions (sweet and sour pork and Schindler’s List, anyone?). This is a couple destined for doom since Rachel still has a thing for Finn, and Puck is the father of Quinn’s baby. Double love triangle? Oh, yes—and set to “Jewish musical icon” Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” no less.

Even weirder—and far creepier—is seeing Sue Sylvester fall in love with the local TV anchorman. Suddenly, Sadistic Sue becomes Smitten Sue—smitten and happy. She enlists Will to teach her to swing dance for an upcoming date with Mr. Hairspray, and the two rivals cut a rug that’s so full of joy, you think it’s a dream sequence.

In the end, Sue gets jilted, cuts Quinn from the cheerleading squad and goes back to her bitter, bitchy self. The kids realize that true friendship exists in Glee Club and not in “friends” who torment you with icy drinks... and Mr. Schue takes one in the face.

The new world order is looking pretty familiar.