Aaron Tveit's Just Gonna Shake Shake Shake, Laura Benanti's NSFW Flirting Tips & More Lessons of the Week

Happy Winter Storm Jonas! Whether you’re binge-watching Santino Fontana in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend or braving the cold to see a Broadway show, we have some very important news to get through. It’s been a wild week on the Great White Way, so let’s not waste any more time. Here’s the Lessons of the Week. 

Jimmy Fallon Is a Multi-Voiced Hamilfan
We have a feeling Hamilton is going to be around for a while, and a certain talk show host has a few ideas for the next King George(s). Jimmy Fallon showed off his many voices with Lin-Manuel Miranda while performing “You’ll Be Back,” and now we want nothing more than Fallon as Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen and even David Bowie to step in for Jonathan Groff. Your move, Christine Pedi.

Andy Blankenbuehler Is Now a Jellicle
The dancing of cats is a difficult matter; it isn’t just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I’m mad as a hatter when I tell you Cats got one of Hamilton’s names. Yes, that all-too-familiar feline musical will return to Broadway this summer, and this time, Hamilton choreographer Andy Blankenbuehler will add some moves. Come to think of it, Aaron Burr’s “Room Where It Happens” jig is pretty damn jellicle.

Bette's Coming Back Where She Belongs
It takes a woman, and this one is positively divine. Bette Midler will return to Broadway as our favorite sequined matchmaker in Hello, Dolly! It's been over 50 years since Midler's last Broadway musical. Back then, she wasn’t playing a matchmaker, but rather singing about one as Tzeitel in Fiddler on the Roof. Looks like that parade has passed by and went full circle! 

Laura Benanti Should Report to HR
Speaking of matchmakers, Tony winner and She Loves Me star Laura Benanti has just the thing to land you your office crush. Although you may want to double check with your human resources manager first. Benanti’s advice? “Spank that butt. D pics. Boobies.” We were thinking a note or some light Twitter flirting, but D pics would probably work, too. And by “D pics,” we assume she means pictures of Dolly Levi.

Debi Mazar's Havin' a Wild, Wild Party
Looking for something fun to do indoors during the snowstorm this weekend? If you’re not taking after Laura Benanti and sending your lover pictures of Donna Murphy (is that what D pics are?), try Debi Mazar’s approach: throw a wild sex party in your apartment. That’s what her character Maggie was up to this week on Younger to make some extra cash. Times is hard, indeed. (Ew. Sorry.)

Kyle Scatliffe Was a Gut-Wrenching Nicely
When we think of Guys and Dolls, we think “Golden Age musical comedy, where otherwise seedy gamblers are charming,” not “emotional tear-jerker.” Then again, we’ve never seen Kyle Scatliffe play Nicely Nicely Johnson. The Color Purple favorite shared that when he was in Guys and Dolls in high school, it made his dad cry. Stop rocking the boat, Kyle; we’ve run out of tears after Cynthia Erivo’s “I’m Here.”

Brandon Uranowitz Is the New Kelli O'Hara
Still dry-eyed after Scatliffe’s “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat”? Try listening to An American in Paris Tony nominees Max von Essen and Brandon Uranowitz warm up. During his #LiveatFive visit, von Essen outed Uranowitz as a wannabe Kelli O’Hara—there’s a lot of Bridges sing-alongs between the two. We’ve got one second and a million miles before a revival, but at least we have our dream cast ready.

T-Swift Will Write Aaron Tveit's Name
Aaron Tveit may be our Broadway boyfriend (we dare you to challenge us on this), but we’re willing to let him see other people when they’re Grammy-winning sensations. While partying with Laurie Metcalf and Andy Cohen (as you do), the Grease: Live star discussed his Twitter interaction with Taylor Swift, and seems like he might be the fella over there with the hella good hair (no offense to Calvin Harris). 

Megan Hilty's Over the Fish Oil
The cast of characters in Noises Off find themselves in a bevy of sticky situations, but this one is actually greasy. At the starry opening night, Megan Hilty revealed there is sardine oil all over the stage because they lube up the sardines to give them an extra sheen. Uh, we prefer our sardines with no extra oil, thank you very much, and while you’re at it, hold the sardines.

Jonas Brothers Are Not Coming; Jonas Is
Gregorian calendar be damned: It’s always April 1 over at the Winter Garden. School of Rock vlogger Alex Brightman punk'd his pint-sized co-stars by telling them the Jonas brothers were in the audience and about to make a backstage visit. Not cool, Alex. But if it’s any consolation prize, kids, a different kind of Jonas is coming to Broadway this weekend…bundle up!