Patti LuPone's Next Gig is Crazy, J. Lo Says 'Hi' to Birdie & More Lessons of the Week

It's almost the weekend, and you know what that means: Time to put on your Wicked leggings, crawl into bed and watch figure-skating routines set to "Defying Gravity." Oh, and Lessons of the Week. We've learned a lot from our Broadway faves over the past seven days, including what the hottest set piece is on Broadway this year to who's dropping hints that she wants to visit the Heaviside Layer. Take a look below and study up!


Grand Staircases Are In This Season
Bette Midler will descend down a famous staircase in Hello, Dolly! next year. But before that, Glenn Close will likewise take a trip down the stairs in the return of Sunset Boulevard. What other staircases can we get on the Great White Way? We happen to think this is a perfect time to bring Tom Levitt and Julia Houston's Heaven on Earth to Broadway. Hey, if we can't get Bombshell...


There Are Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Coats
Broadway is infested with Jellicles, from Grizabella to Rum Tum Tugger to...Maggie Gyllenhaal. The Oscar nominee and Broadway alum showed up to her brother Jake's star turn in Sunday in the Park with George sporting a feline-friendly blazer. She rocked it, but we have a few ideas for accessories: leather thigh-highs, white leg-warmers, a light-up bow tie, a spiked collar...


The Jersey Boys Give Saturdays the Boot
On Saturday nights at Jersey Boys, the party doesn't end with yelling at a bunch of cats and/or Maggie Gyllenhaal. Thanks to the cast's Das Boot night, we now know nine to nine and a half cans of Rolling Rock will fit in a glass boot. That sounds...like the perfect way to watch Jersey Boys. Is there a sippy cup top to the boot so we can bring it into the theater?


The Matilda Cast Has a Trashy Secret
Even when Matilda closes, we won't forget the gifts Looks Not Books has given us: The Q and A theme song. Cut-out Robert Pattinson. Perhaps most importantly, the sexy garbage man. Lesli Margherita and co. recently spotted him, and their reaction was a little bit naughty. Suddenly, we have the urge to take out our trash: some Schmackary's bags, old Role Call cards, nine to 10 Rolling Rock cans...


Megan Sikora Has a Reminder for Her Butt
A vocal warmup is a must for nearly every actor in a musical on Broadway, and for some butt exercises are equally important. Such is the case for Megan Sikora, who left a lipstick reminder on the mirror in her Holiday Inn dressing room to warm up those glutes. You know there's a Reminders app on the iPhone, right, Megan? It's pretty good, and doesn't require Windex.


Robert De Niro Is a Broadway Barber
It's important for the guys of A Bronx Tale to have an authentic Italian vibe. Fortunately for them, their director Robert De Niro is very hands on—particularly when it comes to their hair. Newcomer Bobby Conte Thornton revealed that the other Bobby (the Oscar winner) gave him his 'do for the show. Do you have a barber's license, De Niro? Are you in IATSE? We have a few follow-up questions.


Lornzo Lamas' Pick-Ups Involve Citrus
What's the secret to Lorenzo Lamas' pick-up technique? Vitamin C. The '80s heartthrob and new The Fantasticks star shared that when he was on the Grease set, he tried flirting with Olivia Newton-John, choked, and ended up just offering her orange juice by proxy of her sister. That may not get you a girlfriend, Lorenzo, but it is a great way to prevent scurvy.


King Kong Needs to Learn to Sing
King Kong has had a rough time getting to Broadway. As it turns out, it's extremely challenging to have the star of your musical not be able to speak or sing—save for a few loud, guttural battle cries. This has led to book writer Marsha Norman to depart the project, but we know there must be a way around this. Can Bill Berloni and Liz Caplan team up to train an oversized gorilla to sing? Can you just hire this guy?


J. Lo's Feeling Extra Rosie
After pushing Lin-Manuel Miranda to write a show for her, Jennifer Lopez is ready to polish her musical theater chops. J. Lo will star in and executive produce Bye Bye Birdie Live! on NBC. She'll play Rosie, who sings "An English Teacher." We're sure she'll bring some depth to it, considering she knows the profession well after starring in The Boy Next Door opposite Kristin Chenoweth and a first edition Iliad.


Patti LuPone's Gonna Make Us Crazy
West Covina has everything we could ever want: Giant pretzels, a moody Santino Fontana, Rachel Bloom as Harold Hill—and soon, Patti LuPone. The Tony-winning and Broadway-bound legend will guest star on an upcoming episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. We don't know who she's playing yet, but we sincerely hope it involves an angry Gypsy-esque number about cell phones.