Glee-Cap: Ep. 6: Just Another Manic Monday
This episode of Glee (entitled “Vitamin D”) pushes the plot forward at a breakneck pace, so like a speed freak with a belly full of espresso, let’s zoom through it.
After learning that the competition for sectionals consists of only two teams (a school for the deaf and a halfway house for juvenile delinquents), the Glee Club starts sleepwalking through rehearsals. Mr. Schue has to shake things up, and he gets some decent advice from a surprising source: Sue Sylvester. “If you want results from the kids,” she cracks, “you find that competitive animal within, and unleash it.” To get his students motivated, Will pits the boys against the girls in a mashup contest. The winning team gets to choose the number they do for sectionals. Less than enthusiastic, the girls—except for resident type A Rachel—decide to wing it. The boys, on the other hand, are worried about Finn, who is so exhausted he can barely function.
Meanwhile, Sue decides to release her own animal within (pitbull? scorpion?) and drops in on Will’s wife, Terri, to inform her that her loving husband has more than a little chemistry with Emma. Or as she delicately put it: “Your husband is hiding his kielbasa in a Hickory Farms gift basket that doesn't belong to you.” Did I mention that Sue tripped the elderly school nurse, leaving the position open for Terri to join the staff? Thus, Terri nabs the job easily despite having no medical experience whatsoever. Let the meddling begin!
It turns out meddling is the only area in which Terri succeeds. She gets pretty much everyone around her “motivated” by dispensing pseudoephedrine, a common ingredient in decongestants and, er, methamphetamine. With the help of Nurse Terri’s “vitamin” regimen, Finn is transformed into a ball of energy at Glee Club, where the boys manically perform a mashup of Bon Jovi and Usher (“It's My Life”/”Confessions Pt. 2”) complete with boy-band moves.
Terri’s vitamin encouragement extends to Ken, who confides his fears about Will and Emma’s flirtation. With a couple of pills and a push from Terri, Ken finds himself proposing to a wide-eyed Emma. In a bold move, Emma pockets her cubic zirconia and asks Will if she has options other than marrying Ken. Gulp. Will is tongue-tied by the question. Terri, who overhears the exchange, is anything but tongue-tied when she confronts her rival and convinces her that marrying Ken is her only chance. Ouch.
Like a hyper tweaker downing a case of Jolt, let’s whiz through everything else we learned this week: 1. Beware of Rachel on uppers. The girls (who performed a mashup of Beyonce’s “Halo” and “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves) raced through their number in bright yellow costumes in a blur of blinding smiles. Totally terrifying… yet entertaining. 2. Quinn has decided to give up her firstborn child (which is not even a bump in her cheerleading costume yet ) to Terri. Achtung, baby! This can only spell future disaster. 3. Will is seriously eyeing Emma’s Hickory Farms basket—engagement or no engagement. We knew this, and yet their exchanges are becoming more fraught and guilt-laced. 4. The pill-pushing pseudo-nurse gets canned, but not without getting her husband in trouble. The punishment? A co-director of Glee Club. And who will this co-chair be? None other than sadistic Sue. Perhaps the D in Vitamin D stands for “D’oh!”