Matthew Broderick Gets a Gay Modern Admirer, Ellen Greene Eats Brains & More Lessons of the Week

The sun is setting on another exciting week on the Great White Way, but never fear—the lessons are here! From the TV-watching habits of adorable orphans to Ellen Greene’s new diet of human brains, the last seven days have been a roller coaster ride of nonstop excitement. Read below to catch up on what you missed!

Ty Burrell and Matthew Broderick Are Gay Matinee Buddies
Both onscreen and in real life, Modern Family star Ty Burrell is happily married. But there’s one dude he’d totally go gay for: Nice Work’s Matthew Broderick. The two-time Tony winner is set to make a guest appearance on the hit ABC show this season, and will go on an “accidental gay date” with Burrell’s character, Phil. But Burrell is such a huge fan of Broderick, he wants to take the onscreen relationship one step further—into reality. “We could do a theater matinee and brunch!” the actor mused. Hate to break it to you Ty, but Matthew Broderick already has a brunch buddy. In fact, she’s kind of the ultimate brunch buddy. SJP could mimosa-drink you under the table any day of the week, Dunphy.

Orphans Watch Trashy Reality TV
They may look cute, but underneath the facade, Annie orphans Georgi James and Taylor Richardson have one thing in common—they’re both crazy for junky reality shows. “Every week I have to watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” James (Annie’s new Pepper) revealed in her Broadway.com Meet the Orphans feature. “It’s like, these people on these shows have such wacky lives and families, and I find it so entertaining.” Meanwhile, Taylor Richardson, who plays Duffy, is wild about Dance Moms. Girls, as long as it's OK with your parents, watch whatever you want. But do us a favor? Don’t show up to the opening night party dressed like Kardashians.

OMG, Our Into the Woods Prayers Have Been Answered
James Corden as the Baker and Nina Arianda as the Baker's Wife!? YES, PLEASE! Director Rob Marshall, who is responsible for the Oscar-winning movie adaptation of Chicago, assembled an absolutely swoonworthy cast for the reading of the Into the Woods screenplay. The idea of a film version is already exciting, but add Donna Murphy, Megan Hilty, Anna Kendrick, Christine Baranski, Laura Osnes, Allison Janney, Tammy Blanchard, Patrick Wilson and so many more, and we're practically apoplectic. Bless you, Rob Marshall. With this cast, we could live happily ever after.

Jackie Burns Has Vinegar Breath
Before Wicked star Jackie Burns goes on stage to cast spells, defy gravity and all that jazz, she drinks a magic potion to keep herself in perfect health. In her Broadway.com My Space video, Burns showed off her giant bottle of Bragg’s apple cider vinegar, revealing, “It’s really stinky, but I gargle with it before every show because it supposedly keeps laryngitis away.” Really? We thought swigging Bragg’s is how you keep your co-stars away. Poor Fiyero.

The Edwin Drood Cast Can't Resist a Close-Up
Before they tackle The Mystery of Edwin Drood, an interactive musical that features a different ending every night, Broadway.com checked to make sure Chita Rivera, Stephanie J. Block and the cast were on their toes. How would they react if revealed to be the murderer? Cue the over-acting, complete with mugging and dastardly eyebrow raises. "Too much?" asks Jessie Mueller. In a word: yeah. 

Bernadette Peters Can’t Drive Stick
This week, in honor of the film’s 30th anniversary, Broadway.com caught up with Aileen Quinn, the all-grown-up title star of the 1982 adaptation of Annie. And surprisingly, her funniest Annie memory doesn’t involve playing with Sandy or goofing off with her orphan pals—it’s watching Bernadette Peters fail. “I was laughing at Bernadette trying to drive a stick shift,” Quinn recalls of the famous scene where Miss Hannigan, Rooster and Lily (played by Peters) kidnap Annie and hightail it to Atlantic City. Well, you heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen: Bernadette Peters has a flaw.

Amy Morton Is Really Supportive of Julia Roberts. Really.
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? star Amy Morton is best known to Broadway audiences as Barbara Weston in August: Osage County, but she will not be reprising her performance in the forthcoming star-studded movie. Morton says she’s perfectly content to pass the role on to Julia Roberts, the biggest movie star, uh, ever. “I’m fine with it,” Morton told Broadway.com of the film’s casting. “I’m too old for it anyway at this point, are you kidding me?” OK, Amy, but this is your chance to vent. Or maybe you should just storm the set screaming Barbara’s famous line, “I’m running things now!” (How awesome would that be?)

Feed Me, Hannibal! Ellen Greene Feasts on Body Parts
We had a chat with Little Shop legend Ellen Greene, and guess what? We got the scoop on her newest role! The stage and screen diva revealed that she'll be playing “Hannibal’s socialite friend” in NBC’s upcoming prequel series about the infamous cannibalistic serial killer. Although Greene is most excited that she’ll get to “wear a nice gown,” we’re psyched she’ll be “eating brains and all that.” Mmmm, brains…Audrey II would be so proud.

Forget Manderley! The Rebecca Producers Need a Reality Show
Things have gone from bad to worse with the new musical Rebecca, which was postponed indefinitely this week after yet another mysterious piece of the puzzle was revealed. Apparently, the producers are now unable to get backing because “someone” sent a nasty e-mail scaring other investors away. Well boys, I think it’s time to call it quits on Rebecca and get to work on the pitch for your Bravo reality series. The Real Producers of Rebecca has everything: Scandal! Intrigue! Malaria! It’ll be the biggest thing since Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! Annie orphans, set your DVRs.

It’s Gonna Be a Very Grease-y Christmas
This Christmas you can finally cozy up in front of a pile of presents, grab your dainty white teacup and play some classic holiday songs on the stereo performed by your favorite Grease stars, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John! The duo reportedly came up with the idea for a joint Christmas album while texting each other (too much egg nog?) and Travolta insists “magic happened.” So here’s the plan: Danny and Sandy will sing Christmas duets alongside Barbra Streisand, Tony Bennett, James Taylor and (yes!) even Kenny G.! Greasers, you had us at Babs. We found our stocking stuffers!