Idina Dreams Come True, Clay Aiken's Superfans Head South & More Lessons of the Week

It’s officially the weekend, and so many fun, silly and totally crazy things have happened these past seven days, from Scarlett Johansson's all-girl group to her "pigeon-toes" (um, at least according to Joan Rivers). Check out the top 10 lessons we learned on Broadway this week.

Idina Menzel Clicked Her Heels Three Times
After nearly 10 years of dream casting, wishing on our birthday candles and making vision boards, we’re pleased to announce that Idina Menzel is finally, finally coming back to Broadway. She's been on all sorts of adventures, from barefoot concerts to birthing Lea Michele, but she's finally coming home in If/Then, a new musical by Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey. Idina opens on Broadway in just about 525,600 minutes. (Not that we're counting.) #itcametrue!

Claymates Will Invade North Carolina
The Claymates are coming! The Claymates are coming! Lock your doors, citizens of Raleigh, because a stampede of Clay Aiken fans are about to be eating in your restaurants, staying in your hotels and blasting “This is the Night” on your highways. The American Idol and Broadway alum is teaming up with Tony winner Beth Leavel in the North Carolina Theatre production of The Drowsy Chaperone, starring as an obsessed superfan. Hmm, wonder where he’ll get the inspiration for that role.

Scarlett Johansson Enjoys Being a Girl
Watch out, Josie! Scarlett the Cat is starting an all-girl music group—and no, it’s not called Scarlett and the Pussycats (although that would be awesome). It’s called The One and Only Singles, and of course, we think the Cat on a Hot Tin Roof star should round out the band with other Broadway faves. What about Alli Mauzey (Popular Spice), Stephanie J. Block (Belty Spice), Laura Osnes (Sugar ‘n’ Spice) and Jessie Mueller (Eyebrow Spice)? Now that we’d pay a cover and a two-drink minimum to see at Joe’s Pub.

Joan Rivers Reveals the Ultimate Fashion Secret
The always hilarious Joan Rivers stopped by the Broadway.com studio this week for a lovely chat about, well, everything. From making out with Barbra, to the “pigeon-toed” Scarlett Johansson, to Anne Hathaway’s dry lips (“from kissing her own ass”), the comedienne had no shortage of snarky sass to share. Our favorite tip? Dress like a streetwalker! “There’s a thin line between hooker and wow,” the fashion maven advised. Good to know, Joan. Can we pencil you in for a shopping date on Saturday?

The Phantom of the Opera Gets a Facelift
Like it or not, a reimagined version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s mega-musical The Phantom of the Opera will be haunting a city near you. In this new updated version, we hear the Phantom goes in for extensive facial reconstructive surgery in Act 2 (right after “Masquerade”), and ends up being even handsomer than Raoul! Now, Christine’s choice of who to marry will be even more heart-wrenching and difficult. (Note to Phantom phans in phreakout mode on Phacebook: We’re kidding.)

Laura Osnes Is High Maintenance
Cinderella headliner Laura Osnes has got to be the nicest girl on the Great White Way, but we think the Broadway sweetheart is taking this whole princess thing a little too seriously. In her new video blog, the Tony nominee spends most of her time twirling around in pretty ballgowns while her dressers crawl around on their hands and knees gluing rhinestones onto her Stuart Weitzman glass slippers. You look gorgeous, but don't forget your roots, Osnes! You used to be “Small Town Sandy,” remember?

Alan Cumming’s Mom Fears for Her Son's Life
On Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Tony winner Alan Cumming revealed that during prior runs of his one-man Macbeth, he actually thought he might die—and so did his mom! “You’re too thin, and don’t have a nervous breakdown,” remarked Cumming's mother after watching a performance. But Mom, how else is he going to win his second Tony? If Anne Hathaway has taught us anything, it’s: Extreme Malnourishment + Crazy Eyes = Award.

Jeremy Jordan Is a Drama Queen
Well, y’all voted Broadway hunk Jeremy Jordan as the biggest drama queen on Smash, and we completely agree. He throws a tantrum when no one will listen to his song—but instead of sharing his feelings like a big boy, he pouts and shows up to the theater high. This isn't a good look on you, Jeremy. We (and the 14 other people who watch Smash) really want Jimmy to sober up and seize the day.

Well, the Oscars Were Weird
Seriously, weren’t the Oscars strange? Seth MacFarlane's brand of boob humor was divisive (but we still think he should play Harold Hill), Tony winner Catherine Zeta-Jones may or may not have lip synced, Kristin Chenoweth called everyone losers and Anne Hathaway (and her girls) kept pointing (wink!). Also, Aaron. Tveit. We'd say, all in all, it was a pretty successful night for Broadway. We don't know how successful it was for Hollywood, but who cares?

Nora Ephron Was Rosie O’Donnell’s Fashion Consultant
In a touching interview with Broadway.com, Rosie O’Donnell shared memories of her pal, the late, great Lucky Guy playwright Nora Ephron. But the writer wasn’t just Rosie’s good friend, collaborator and dog sitter, she was also her personal style consultant. “When I wanted to know what to wear, I would call her,” O’Donnell said. “Who do I call now?” Well, Rosie, you could always hit the Hooker Mart with Joan and Melissa.