Kristin Chenoweth Loves You More Than Slurpees, Matthew Morrison Has a Silver Rap Medal & More Lessons of the Week

It’s Friday, and that means it’s time for the best part of the week—no, not eating an entire bag of peanut butter cups while watching old Real Housewives reruns. It’s time for the Lessons of the Week! We’re rounding up all of the weird stuff that happened over the last seven days, from Kristin Chenoweth’s lap dance requests to Darren Criss’ beauty tips. Check out what we learned!

KC Wants to Give You a Lap Dance
On the Twentieth Century star Kristin Chenoweth is the proud winner of three 2015 Broadway.com Audience Choice Awards, and how does she want to thank you? She'd love to give you all lap dances, but sadly, that’s statistically impossible. That’s very sweet, Kristin, but you can drink a Slurpee in our honor instead.

Matthew Morrison Is the 2nd Best Rapper
It’s no secret Finding Neverland and Glee star Matthew Morrison has tons of talent, but at the Drama League Awards this week, he bragged that he’s the best rapper in the room...until he realized Hamilton’s Lin-Manuel Miranda was also there. It’s OK, Matt, we’re still really looking forward to your hip-hop score for Millard Fillmore: The Musical.

Darren Criss Gets Manicure Tips From Chita
Hedwig and the Angry Inch star Darren Criss was having some nail trouble this week (check out the BACA video), so he went to visit the most glamorous gals on Broadway: The Visit’s Chita Rivera! The stars compared manicures backstage, and we’re also hoping they swapped polishes. We’d love to see Chita in The Hedwig Collection at the Tonys.

Rebecca Naomi Jones Is a Clean Freak
Speaking of Hedwig (and when aren’t we?), we got an exclusive tour of Rebecca Naomi Jones’ dressing room in her new video blog The Total Package. She has a lot of cool stuff in there, including two sinks and a shower for keeping everything as clean as possible. We love an obedient husband.

Brandon Uranowitz Dyed His Eyebrows
We think An American in Paris star is sexy just the way he is, but the Toronto production of Ragtime apparently didn’t like his hair. Because he looked “too Jewish” to play The Little Boy, he had to bleach his eyebrows and hair every two weeks. Wow, Brandon, that’s dedication—even Hedwig gets to keep her eyebrows.

Christine Baranski’s the Boss of You
When we asked fans to rank their top picks for stars to play Miranda Pristly in The Devil Wears Prada musical, we figured Patti LuPone was a shoo-in for the top slot. Wrong—Christine Baranski took the lead, which is a surprising but equally stellar casting choice. Which reminds us, is there some reason that Ms. Baranski’s coffee isn’t here? By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills her.

Michael Cerveris Has a Secret Wig Stash
Fun Home star Michael Cerveris has been losing his hair ever since they started spray-painting it in on Fame, but don’t worry—he revealed on Show People that he has a really cool collection of wigs that he whips out for parties and Nashville viewings. Hey Brandon Uranowitz, maybe you should stop by Cerveris’ place before you agree bleach your hair again.

You Can Now Look Like Carey Mulligan
Have you ever wanted to be as photogenic as Skylight Tony nominee Carey Mulligan? Don’t lie, we know you have. Her secret is looking at the photographers’ wristwatches while they’re taking her photo on the red carpet. She says it gives her an air of mystery. That’s true, Carey—potential watch thieves are very mysterious.

Moulin Rouge Is One Step Closer to B’way
...Well, kinda. Broadway.com has been championing a Moulin Rouge musical for years, and we’ve finally (sorta) gotten one. For the Record: BAZ, a new Cirque du Soleil tribute to Baz Lurhmann movies, will hit Sin City’s Mandalay Bay this summer. Come on, Broadway producers, take a trip to Vegas—we want our “Elephant Love Medley” already.

Don’t Get Mad at Idina Menzel
Now that Idina Menzel is hitting the road, she’s making her own rules. She’s dying her hair blonde, she’s switching up her set list without telling her band, and she’s thinking of getting “Let It Go” out of the way first so she can separate her real fans from the posers. Oh, Idina, we love your new rebellious streak. But don’t even think about taking “Defying Gravity” out of your show. Beware the wrath of the Fanzels.