Q
While I haven't been fortunate enough to act at the Broadway level, I have some years of experience performing in shows in both professional and amateur settings. One thing that I've found that seems to happen during long performance runs is that cast members will sometimes pull harmless pranks on each other to break the monotony. These are usually things that can never be detected by the audience, or done backstage. They are never done to a lead performer or are meant to disrupt a performance, of course. I know the company line is that everyone's a professional, and stuff like this doesn't go on, but, could you please tell us if this does happen occasionally, and about a funny experience you've had if it does?—Steve, Naples, FL
Hello, Steve, if that is your real name. Of course these shenanigans you refer to happen, often to the lead performer and often to purposefully disrupt a performance. Professionalism? It's all degrees, isn't it? As for a specific story, I shall try to relate the funniest prank I was ever privy to, but the editors of Broadway.com might do a bit of redacting to maintain my anonymity. Let's give it a shot. During the run of CENSORED in CENSORED, I was playing CENSORED opposite CENSORED. He was absolutely CENSORED, by the way, contrary to most reports. Anyhoo, during the CENSORED scene, while I was CENSORED the CENSORED, CENSORED decided to pull out a CENSORED which he had somehow stashed in his CENSORED. As I was about to hit a high CENSORED I saw the CENSORED poking out of his CENSORED and of course my CENSORED went wide with disbelief. I had never seen a CENSORED in real life, let alone on stage! CENSORED started to giggle, I started to CENSORED and pretty soon everyone on stage was looking at CENSORED and just CENSORED in plain sight. So does this type of thing happen in real life, to hilarious effect? You bet it does. I hope this has been as fun for you to hear as it has been for me to relive! Thanks for your question, "Steve."
I am always hearing that stars love to be met at the stagedoor by their fans, but is this really true. I can't imagine why having a bunch of people crowding around you and handing you playbills to sign would be comforting, but then again, I've never been on that side of it. If stars wanted to meet their fans wouldn't it make more sense for them to come out the front door of the theater instead of some hidden door on an alley? Just wondering.—Becky, 16
Ah, 16. A perfect age for "just wondering." When you get a little older, wonderment turns to skepticism, turns to cynicism. Hold on, dear Becky, to that spirit, that inquisitive nature that fuels our children's imaginations and our children's children's' imaginations. Let that hopeful bubble float above you like a beacon so that all those around you may strive a little harder to see the good in things, to ask the innocent questions, to dare to dream. As for your e-mail, it really seemed more like a rhetorical question to me. Also, if you head over to the ABCs of BROADWAY and read the entry for "Stage Door", you'll start to understand that actors are contractually obliged to exit via the "hidden door on an alley." OK? So maybe spend a little less time "wondering" and a little more time doing your research. Jeez. I'll actually be addressing your question in a future column. Keep dreaming!
Staying healthy to perform eight shows a week must be a challenge. Can you share any tips on preventing a cold or getting over one quickly?—Gina Rivera
Where can I find the best pizza in midtown? And should my friend have been shot for walking in the stage door of a theater, where he was most certainly not starring in the show? He just goes wherever he pleases sometimes!—Catherine, 19
Oh, I have opinions about everything and more often that not they get me into trouble. First off, Broadway doesn't like to be referred to as a "babe." It's 2005 and things have changed. She prefers "lady." As for the current culture of celebrity, I have had the opportunity to work with quite a few of these Hollywood types over the years and I must say that the majority of them put Broadway up on a pedestal just like you and I do. In general, they are honored to be part of the great tradition and respect the craft that goes into doing 8 shows a week. I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't been frustrated by celebrity stunt casting. In the past five years we've seen pairings of stars to shows that could have come straight from Saturday Night Live. However, some of these celebrities got their start in the theater and this is just coming home for them. I guess I'm saying, movie stars are people too. Only rich.
In this day and age, staying healthy in general can be a challenge. And that's why I adhere strictly to the American Heart Association's recommended daily intake of red wine—2 to 3 glasses for men, 1 to 2 for women. As far as treating colds, at the risk of sounding like a walking or typing commercial, I strongly recommend the Zicam. At the first sign of the sniffles or a tickle in the back of the throat, I start pumping myself full of the stuff. It really shortens the length of the cold and sometimes downright prevents it. Be careful to follow the instructions to the letter, however. Although it looks like nasal spray, it's nasal gel. Big difference. When I first used it, I snorted that gel up into my brain faster than a background player on Miami Vice. My vision was blurry for an hour and everyone's voice sounded like Emo Phillips. For those of you with short-term memories, that's not good.
Such evocative questions from a 19-year-old. Pizza for me, as with so many things, is all about context. For the best sit-down pizza, I would say John's. Cliche, but there it is. For the best walking slice, try Ray's on 8th Avenue between 51st and 52nd. For the best late night TV on DVD companion that isn't delivery, DiGiorno's. And the best pizza that sounds dirty but isn't... Pinch, pizza by the inch. As for your second query, the question isn't so much should your friend be shot for walking into random stage doors as will he. Few people know about the Stage Door Marshal Program being implemented at random theaters all over town, and for good reason. Just like the Air Marshal Program, you never know where these brave, well-trained protectors of the peace will be stationed. But make no mistake, they are instructed to shoot first, ask questions later. Perhaps you can just tell your friend that although going wherever you please can be such a charming trait for a child who is small for his age or the mentally unstable, the general rule is, don't.
Hello, Terry. Thank you for your polite and appropriate use of "please." It's surprisingly rare these days. On to your question. Rather than go into specific dressing rooms, I thought I'd mention some of the key ingredients that can make the rooms either delightful or horrifying. Delightful: Accent lamps. Horrifying: Fluorescent tube lighting. Delightful: Personal bathroom. Horrifying: Communal toilet with a very thin door outside of which sits one or several co-workers. Delightful: First floor access. Horrifying: Old freight elevator that breaks down and reeks of unseemly people. Delightful: Ottomans. Horrifying: Saloon doors. I hope this has been helpful.