V-Day Special 2006: Looking for Love
Compiled by Lyssa Mandel
 SIBLING REVELRY Self-sacrificing brunette female without an inheritance seeks patient, traditional man to help in caring for my sister, singing longingly about my sister, martyring myself for my sister, giving up love—Oh, never mind. There's no man as beautiful as my sister. I live for Laura. Come fall in love with her to keep her happy. BLOODY GOOD TIME SWF seeks SM to die for. Or even to kill for. Very hot tuba skills. Say "No" and you'll regret it… Committed & domestic w/a vengeance. Plus: Can bake a mean pie—and my secret ingredients are irresistible. RECIPROCITY Voluptuous, aggressive female with impressive connections seeks man who can fire right back. Spice it up for her, she'll get hot for you. When you're good to her, she's good to you. Bonus: She's got your back in the jailhouse.
FIT FOR A QUEEN You: Swept across the room like Maid Marian. Me: British. HUGE sword. Complete with a whole table full of knights to meet your slapstick needs. Come look on bright side of life with me. MONSTER MASH Single fuzzy male seeks single bored female all species welcome for good times electronic or live. Interest in the Internet a must. Interest in "adult entertainment" a plus. You're hottt. I'm nottt. Let's do it. |
…I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE YOU Overeager overgrown cub scout knows how to spell longest words in dictionary—but needs help with some other things. Seeks 'experienced' SF to show him the ropes. And I don't mean the one you climb in gym class. I'll give you my snacks if you take me behind the football field bleachers!! Pretty please?! KING OF THE JUNGLE How could you resist this flowing golden mane and these rippling muscles? SM w/catlike reflexes and all-powerful property rights seeks submissive mate to share throne. Will double as a bodyguard & old fashioned hunter-gatherer. Cat Scratch Fever, baby. Rawr.
THIRD WHEELS ARE LE SEXY Looking for a dirty rotten time? Sweet-talkin' debonair Monsieur and his sophisticated Mademoiselle request your company for casual fun and naughty frolicking. Let us entertain you. Join our small party—we'll show you how to be a true Parisienne lover: Like zis… and like zat. M or F welcome. GET THE BLUES Three SWM, who have the blues in a big way, looking for colorful people of all races, creeds and ages for multi-sensory theatrical experiences. Into cream cheese, marshmallows and red hot percussion. Come make some noise w/us. NOTE: If ur a certain green chick from a certain mega-hit musical, stop calling us! It's over! |
