Ian McKellen Is Marrying Patrick Stewart, Karen Olivo Bows Out and More Lessons of the Week

The lights are going down on another week on Broadway, which means it’s time for the week’s lessons to go up Broadway.com! Read on to find out what we learned during another eventful seven days on the Great White Way.

Ian McKellen Is Marrying Patrick Stewart
Nooooo, not like that. In one of the greatest moments in geek history, it was announced that Magneto will be delivering the dearly-beloveds at Professor X's upcoming wedding. While appearing on a British talk show, Sir Ian blurted out: “I’m going to marry Patrick! How else do you put that? I’m going to officiate at his wedding.” The only way this story could be better would be if the Waiting for Godot co-stars were marrying each other.

Sarah Paulson & Jessica Lange Are Not “Boffing”
Talley’s Folly star Sarah Paulson set the record straight about the relationship between her American Horror Story co-star Jessica Lange. Paulson showered Lange with praise and confirmed she's the “real deal,” but the pair are just pals. “There are worse people to be linked to. I’ll take it, but it isn’t happening.” she said. Ugh, if we can’t trust the National Enquirer, who can we trust?

Layla the Truck Is a Diva
The brand new Broadway musical Hands on a Hardbody has its fair share of hard-rocking, able-bodied dynamos on stage, but according to the tuner's cast, the real showstopping diva is...Layla the Truck! "She was beautiful, wasn't she? Just stunning! Just upstaged all of us, that bitch," joked star Jay Armstrong Johnson on opening night. Uh-oh, sounds like there might be trouble in Hardbody paradise. We can already picture Miss Layla letting all the fame go to her big, red hood. Shame, shame.

Carole King Will Make Broadway Beautiful
Well, not Carole King exactly, but the story of her life in the bio-musical Beautiful: The Carole King Musical, which is slated to open on Broadway next spring. The show will feature characters based on The Shirelles, Dick Clark and Neil Sedaka. A quick Wikipedia search of King will show you know the words to more songs by her than you probably realize, including "The Loco-Motion." Broadway gypsies doing "The Loco-Motion" line dance? We die.

Bebe Neuwirth Does Not Like Change
But she does love a piano! Bebe Neuwirth's one and only audition song, “I Love a Piano,” has not changed since 1977. Neuwirth also said that the only theater music she has on her iPod is Jacques Brel. I'm sorry, what?! That's it?! Well, with two Tonys and 10 Broadway credits to her name, she probably knows what she's doing...but no "All That Jazz"?! Really, Bebe?

Justin Timberlake Should Be Dancing Through Life
In an inspired bit of dream casting, fans decreed they would like to see Justin Timberlake make his Broadway debut as Fiyero in Wicked. The years Timberlake spent in the boy band N*SYNC were surely good practice for learning how to deal with crazified Wicked-heads. And if anyone can pull off the Winkie prince’s signature brand of mindless, cavalier and carefree living, it’s the guy who brought sexy back, right? (P.S. Tight white pants.)

Karen Olivo and Ryan Gosling Need a Vacay
Tony winner Karen Olivo blogged that she wants out of showbiz the same week Hollywood hunk Ryan Gosling announced he needs a break from acting. Coinky-dink? Maybe. But these two should totally go on fab getaway! Imagine Olivo and Gosling lounging in the sun, sipping mojitos and figuring it all out. Paciencia y fé, girl!

Charlie Sutton was Literally Born to Dance
Broadway hoofer Charlie Sutton, a stunner in Jerry Mitchell’s production of new musical Kinky Boots, told us that he was "literally" almost born on a dance floor. Sutton's mother was performing on stage when her water broke. “She went to the after party, of course, and then had me after that,” he said. We never doubted the dedication of professional dancers, but even Natalie Portman’s Black Swan would be like, "WTF?!"

Santino Fontana Knows How to Be a Princess
Cinderella star Laura Osnes better keep an eye on her glass slippers! While recording dialogue for the cast album of the hit Broadway musical, Osnes messed up her crucial line about not having tried on the glass slipper, and co-star Santino Fontana was all over that sh*t. Prince Topher himself swiftly (and lovingly, of course!) corrected her. We don't know about you, but we think Fontana might be gunning to play prince and princess. Isn't that basically what Jekyll & Hyde is all about?

Elaine Stritch Is Ditching Us
NYC without Elaine Stritch? No! The legendary ball-buster announced that after 71 years, she’s leaving the city for her home state of Michigan. Luckily, Stritch will perform Elaine Stritch at the Carlyle: Movin’ Over and Out before she packs up and heads home. There’s no one in the whole damned world like the brash and brilliant Stritch, and we’d pay top dollar to see the New York City icon in the Big Apple one last time. Oh, well. We guess Miss Stritch will have more time for a matinee, a Pinter play. Perhaps a piece of Mahler's. But can you get all that in Detroit?