Were Critics Stirred by Suzanne Somers in The Blonde in the Thunderbird?

Suzanne Somers has achieved a lot in her life, and now she is tackling Broadway. The performer has brought her one-woman show, The Blonde in the Thunderbird, to New York for a limited engagement at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre through September 3. The piece, written and directed by Mitzie and Ken Welch, officially opened on July 17. Did critics find Somers' fascinating?

Here is a sampling of what they had to say:

Eric Grode in his Broadway.com Review: "One-woman musicals require more than sparkle and resiliency. They also require more than a little talent, which makes the shoddily constructed The Blonde in the Thunberbird the title comes from Somers' tiny role in American Graffiti a grim, at times excruciating evening. Only rarely, as during a childlike rendition of 'If I Only Had a Brain' punctuated with domestic-abuse sound effects, does The Blonde in the Thunderbird attain the sort of ill-conceived bathos that can lend such pieces exalted status among camp aficionados. More often than not, the fourth-rate Vegas orchestrations and banal script--TV veterans Mitzie and Ken Welch adapted two of Somers' books in addition to directing--bring to mind a kitschy infomercial."

Charles Isherwood of The New York Times: "Something is desperately needed, in any case, to dress up The Blonde in the Thunderbird, a drab and embarrassing display of emotional exhibitionism masquerading as entertainment. Attired in a cruelly clingy black tights-and-tunic ensemble, Ms. Somers re-enacts or describes triumphs and traumas from her personal and professional life for a grinding 95 minutes, on a stage adorned only by a pair of video screens, an armchair, a prop phone and a coat rack. It is curious, and telling, that Ms. Somers's magnified, two-dimensional presence on the video screens continually draws the focus away from the woman herself. Devoted fans may savor this no-frills, quasi-intimate audience with a favorite celebrity and professional dispenser of uplifting advice, but others may find their attention wandering to the coat rack. And resting there."

Clive Barnes of The New York Post: "The story is obviously courageous, but its telling is remorseless--with stridently sung Broadway show tunes inserted inside the upbeat, relentlessly perky monologue. I found the show smug, but she has guts, and I'm sure if you really, truly love Suzanne Somers, you'll like her show. But if you just like Suzanne Somers, maybe you should think about not going. Billy Crystal she's not."

Howard Kissel of The New York Daily News: "The style of Blonde--a reference to her brief appearance in American Graffiti, which, in fact, I had seen--is more like a Vegas act or a brassy TV special than a piece of theater. The stage, for example, is dominated by two large screens, which provide close-ups of Somers. In a gigantic sports arena or a huge casino showroom, such screens might be useful, but in a relatively small theater they only weaken our focus and diminish any sense of intimacy. Her voice is heavily amplified, which also dilutes the sense that she's sharing things with us. In effect, she's broadcasting."

David Rooney of Variety: "Self-absorption masquerading as self-exploration and self-irony, this so-called 'one-woman musical joyride' chronicles Somers' evolution from zero self-esteem to a level that's surely off the chart… Suzanne then promises, and delivers, the good, the bad and the ugly. The good is the short running time and pre-10 p.m. exit; the bad is everything between first entrance and final bows, except for an occasional climb into mediocrity. And the ugly? Those pants! Let's just say a certain expression pertaining to dromedary hooves can never be far from the minds of those sitting down front."

Michael Kuchwara of The Associated Press: "Infomercials explain but rarely entertain, and the same could be said for Blonde, which has the feel of an extended therapy session crossed with a tacky Las Vegas revue--minus the other show girls."

Linda Winer of Newsday: "Somers has a likeable, ebullient, up-for-anything quality, which serves her well in another repetition of her oft-told, best-selling saga… The show is slickly presented, with live images of Somers on two big screens above her enthusiastic self. The cameras love her. Perhaps, in this case, three does make better company… She has a bright, hyper-amplified singing voice, which she applies with breezy professionalism to standards and a few sappy new numbers by the Welches."