Livin' It Up: Amber Gray Goes from 'Weak Link' of the School Play to Tony-Nominated Hadestown Standout

As Persephone, the life of the underground party in Hadestown, Amber Gray is a dazzling highlight of the romantic hit musical, which has become the toast of Broadway and the recipient of a whopping 14 Tony Award nominations. One of those nods was given to Gray, who has found herself invited to the busy awards season for the first time, after a hearty career in experimental off-Broadway and regional theater (and a Tony-worthy turn in 2016’s Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812). Broadway.com invited the slyly funny, super-grounded star for a photo shoot high above the city and a chat about her early draw to the “freaks and geeks” of the theater, her love of manly men, and why Persephone started hitting the booze in London.

Hadestown has become the event of the season. I walk by the theater every morning and there’s a line into the alleyway of hopeful ticket buyers.
And kids meeting up, yeah.

How does it feel to be in the “it” show on Broadway?
I don't know that I have really registered that. It is definitely a phenomenon. When we leave the stage door late at night, like if we hang out for a bit, they're already set up to camp out to get tickets for the next day, which is blowing my mind. Sometimes I'm like, “Oh, we're in that show." I was that college kid. And I camped out at that theater to see Grey Gardens over a decade ago! That was totally me. It’s wild.

You’ve been working pretty steadily and somewhat under the radar for 15 years or so. How does it feel to suddenly be the center of attention?
I've really loved my career. I've just chosen pieces that have turned me on. I've always followed the art, you know, and commerce doesn't always follow. But now it is in the last few years, which is really cool now that I have to pay for two children! Very happy about that. But usually, if I read about a role on the page and don’t like it, I won’t even audition for it. Because it’s your life—you can’t get stuck in really long contracts, you know? You better like that show! There’s a reason I've been saying yes to this show on and off for five years now. I really believe in it. So, I'm happy that people are reacting the way to it that I've always felt about it. Some of the attention feels personal, but it more feels like about Hadestown in general. I'm proud of the show. I feel like people are reacting to it the way that I think they should.

Why did this role excite you? What did you love about the story you get to tell?
Initially, the music attracted me. The first time I ever heard the [2010 concept] album, I was riding home over the Brooklyn Bridge. There was lots of fog, and it was like mystical out. And as soon as I got home, I listened to the whole thing again, in cans, and read the lyrics online at the same time. That's when I started to fall in love with the story—that second listen. You don't really hear music like that in a piece of theater, so I was very turned on by that.

Hadestown is such a romantic show, in a sexy, dark way. Are you a romantic?
[Laughs.] No. I'm not a romantic at all, actually. But I can get into it. I do love that part of the storytelling. Maybe that's why I enjoy doing it so much in the shows because I don't necessarily live my life like that!

You're giving romance to the people.
That's right. And that's my daily romance, those two hours on stage! [Laughs.]

I fell in love with your talents when I saw Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 and wanted you to get a Tony nomination two years ago. I'm still fired up about it. 
[Laughs.] Thanks for that. Appreciate it. 

How does it feel to have the nomination happen this time around? I know a lot of people whisper things to you in the time leading up to the announcement.
Yes, those things were whispered to me before. Now that it has, I'm like, “Oh, that's nice!” Because I had that let down before. It's wonderful.

Let’s talk about your childhood. You were an Army brat and spent much of your childhood all over Europe. How did that lifestyle influence who you are as a person?
I had to move every two or three years and make new friends. My joke is always that the theater kids were the nicest, you know? They accepted all the freaks and geeks, no questions asked. And the jocks were not nice. They're competitive by nature. I grew up skiing because I lived in Germany when I was really little—they just put you on skis when you're three and shove you down the mountain. No poles, no helmet! So, I would try to be on ski team, and they just were not nice kids. I quickly learned that you should always do the play if you want to make friends. And so it was more survival for many years. Then as I got older, I was like, “Oh, you could actually do this for a living!”

I read that you saw Sweeney Todd early on.
Yes, I did. And I thought all musicals were, like, horror! [Laughs.] I didn't understand that there could be different genres.

You’d be a great Mrs. Lovett!
Oh, I would love to play Mrs. Lovett. Dream. I had some friends that helped produce that revival with actual pies. There was like a moment where they were… I was pregnant. I was like, I can't do that right now. But that would be really cool.

Fingers crossed that we'll see that at some point! Once you did get in with the theater kids, which shows were you doing? Can you remember any great roles?
Yes! I had a theater teacher in high school who believed you had to give the weak links leads so that they could get better. He always taught people, “You’re as good as your weakest link.” So there were three shows in a row where I got great parts. I played Mary Magdalene in Jesus Christ Superstar, and I couldn't quite sing it. So, when we'd get to the [big notes], the sound would go out. On every chorus, the mic would cut out. People just thought—I don't know what they thought, but I was not singing it because I couldn't hit it! I got to play Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream. And I got to play Ophelia in Hamlet. Some hard stuff.

You're saying you were the weak link?
I was one of the weak links. Yeah. I was also a kid, you know? I was like younger. I was one of the weak links, and the seniors would stay after with me and rehearse with me for an extra hour, which is another reason why I was like, “What's going on in this theater world?” Because they care. They were like, “You need to be better. We're going to rehearse you.” I got better because I learned craft and skill; It was very cool.

What were you like once you got to New York City, and ultimately went to NYU's Tisch School of the Arts? What kind of survival jobs did you have?
Oh God. I worked in a yoga studio for a really long time that didn't pay anything. And then I worked at a place called Dinosaur Designs, which is an Australian company that's quite famous there, that makes resin jewelry. I have hundreds of their pieces. I was their visual merchandiser for a long time. That was my survival job for like 12 years. I kept that job during grad school at NYU. I would work there on the weekends. Paycheck to paycheck was my life then. Drinking heavily—that was my life then. Crying in the streets of New York… Screaming at people. You know, I was not happy—not well sometimes.

That might have been all good research for Hadestown.
Yeah, sure! That’s very true, actually. Yes, I very much know what that is.

I love the character of Persephone. She has such a beautiful journey in the show—we get to watch her heart open up before our eyes.
That wasn't always the case, but in this particular iteration, she's really sort of the heart of the thing. Somebody once said, “Oh, you're the spirit animal of the show." I was like, “Yeah! That's right!” It never occurred to me, but it has slowly become that. I like that Persephone wakes up in the course of the journey. She’s been sort of self-medicating, self-numbing and has forgotten part of herself, and she comes out of it. It’s a really beautiful journey now. The thing that’s awesome about working on a new show for so long is that you kind of get to carve it all out in a way that turns you on.

You’ve worked a bunch with director Rachel Chavkin. What’s it been like watching her shape Hadestown over various productions?
She sees things before other people do. There’s a reason I’m an actor and she’s a director—'cause she can see the big picture. I just focus on my little moments. There were intense growing pains throughout this process. She’d be like, “It needs to be this now.” And we didn’t necessarily agree. I hate change! Then after rehearsing it for a couple of weeks, the cast realized she was right. Persephone only started drinking in London. There are moments she was like, “More Ab Fab!” I’m like, “No, that’s wrong!” And then I was like, “Oh, you were totally right.” It’s fun to do.

A lot of people start drinking in London.
[Laughs.] Touché. Yes. 

Bars close early there, so they start drinking so early!
There was a staff bar at the National Theatre that you pass when you leave the theater. So yes, that's true!

I want to know a little about the “Graylens.”
Ah! Why do you know about the Graylens?! That's my family. I'm Amber Gray and my partner is Galen Hamilton. So, we call ourselves the Graylens.

How did you meet Galen?
I met him in Reverend Billy and the Stop Shopping Gospel Choir. I've known him since 2007, and we started dating in 2011. It was the first time it's ever happened to me, where after five years, I saw with, like, new glasses. He’s a metal fabricator. He just welds all day. He comes home and has to wash off the metal before he can touch our children. He's a very special man.

How did he win you over?
He's a real man. He has family in Colorado and Texas. He goes home every year and shoots a deer and a ram. We have a deep freezer in our basement and we eat that meat. He can, like, skin the thing. I mean, it's amazing. He can build a house from scratch. If he gets bored, I'll come home and he'll have knocked out a wall and like made a new area. You know, that's hot. [Laughs.] I like that a lot! I like somebody who is skilled in a way that I don’t understand at all. We don’t know what the other one does at all, and that can create friction as well. Especially during awards season! He’s like, “You have to go away again?” I haven’t been home much, which is really hard. I see my kids like 15 minutes every morning. That’s not fun.

What does he think of Hadestown?
He digs it. When he saw the first production at New York Theatre Workshop, he sat next to the boyfriend of the gal who played Eurydice at the time. And that boyfriend was, like, crying during “Flowers.” And Galen was looking at him—he loves telling the story—and he was like, “You’re crying watching your girlfriend… My girlfriend's kicking people in the balls!” [Laughs] He likes when I get to play broads. I think it excites him.

You have two young kids at home. They must be at a real age of wonder.
The toddler, especially. I’m excited for him to be at an age when he can be around the theater. He doesn’t understand why I put on a different outfit or look different. He came to a tech rehearsal in London and was there when we go down in the hole during “Way Down” and he’s still like, “Mommy, Mommy! Remember you went in the hole!” Like it was scary. But I hope eventually he can come and have some exposure to the theater because I have dreams of my children growing up around it. It would be really cool.

What’s the best thing about life now? You have a lot going on. How do you take it all in?
There are a lot of really great things going on right now. I have a great family that I really love. And I love my job—I’d be very happy to do it for a year. It’s a very easy show to do eight times a week. It’s super fun inside of it, and it seems like the audience is having a great time, which always feels nice as a performer. So, yeah, I’m having a great time. Life is good right now. Not many complaints. I’m, like, tired but who cares? That’s what coffee and Red Bulls are for!

Credits: Photos by Caitlin McNaney for Broadway.com | Styling by Carlton Jones | Hair and Makeup by Dena Olivieri | Producer: Paul Wontorek | Video by Kyle Gaskell | Shot at The Fleur Room at Moxy Chelsea